Kate

Kate: Oh Mommy, you should really shave your pitts, they stink
Me: First of all I shaved my pitts a month ago for the first time in years...see....barely any hair. Second of all, my pitts stink because I haven't take a shower or put on deodorant....because I am so busy caring for you and your brothers...
Kate: Oh Ok

Kate: Mommy I just yove (love) Alex's feet (grabbing one foot)
Me: Me too, honey. But when you are talking about just one it is a foot. And when you are talking about more than one it is called feet...
Kate: HUH? (when as much animation as a 3 year old can muster)....these one (his right) is a foot, but this one (his right) is a feet....that make no sense, because they both the same looking feet
Me: (shaking my head and laughing) When you are talking about just one it is a foot, 2 makes them feet.
Kate: Oh....(nodding) that is yo trange (so strange), they yook the yame, but called different
Me: Let's just keep walking or we will be late.

Maybe I shouldn't write about because it involves private parts. But this is my blog and I want to write it. So be warned.
We were playing memory and I was feeling tired and a bit cranky. Charlie was feeling like cheating (surprise, surprise) and Kate was feeling....like being naked and exploring her girl parts.
Me: Kate, you can't touch your vagina while playing memory.
Kate: ok mommy i not
Me; Kate you can't touch your vagina while playing memory.
Kate: YES I WILL
Me: Kate, if you touch your vagina and then pick up cards it is kinda gross for us all to then pick up the same card.
Kate: (thought about it).....ok yook. I will touch my vagina with this hand, and pick up the cards with this hand...yee...I big. I can pick up cards with just one hand.
Me: Fair enough

Yesterday while walking to school Kate ran full speed ahead down a steep hill and suddenly came to gutter that was a foot lower than the street. She had to leap into the gutter to avoid a major spill.
Kate: I a tough children, mommy.
Me: You are tough for sure, but your grammar sucks.