one mama's thoughts: Us

First off...Josh and I had a birthday. After a long day of Josh teaching and me parenting and tutoring, we got together for pizza, wine, and cake....the kids were so exciting to celebrate! It was a perfect night. We laughed, ate, chatted, laughed...and somehow (I will brag forever about this) we were able to put the kids to sleep before 7 with Josh here. Let us all take a good long moment to recognize how hot us berkies look...all 3....no double chins, no weird squinting or drool...

This post will be random because A. who has time to blog these days B. my internet is down and I can only use it from this one location in my house..which by the way has been a godsend as Adam and I now seem to spend most evenings by the fire (only heat in house) chatting and drinking rather than watching stuff on the internet...since we have no TV and lately no internet. sorry I am getting away from myself....here is Kate....helping me clean. Does she piss us off time to time when she stomps her feet and tells us to shut our mouths, or calls us shit mommy or shit daddy...sure. Does she take our breath away with her flexibility, creativity, sweetness, loving ways. Every. single. day.

The kids love science. who doesn't. Here they are in the early morn...reading zoobooks together. It makes 5 am all that much sweeter...

This photo is probably 6 am, charlie waiting for the waffles to turn green. See folks, when you go to sleep before 9 (that is me) and wake up right at 5...3 hours until school is enough time for cleaning the house, playing memory, and making waffles from scratch.

Charlie couldn't be a better brother. He adores Alex and protects Kate. He is inclusive, loving, great at sharing, and devoted. I couldn't be prouder of my big boy.

Alex is 6 months and I am already sad about it. He started scooting at 5.5 months and is into everything. Knowing he is my last perhaps contributes to the touch of sadness that comes from milestones that should be celebrated. I am NOT one of those moms who can't wait until her son is more grown up. If I could freeze time right now I would. Not just for my kids, but for my siblings, friends, and parents. I would revel in this time in space for a good while. And I am not a fool, I know things can change, loved ones can become unhealthy, unhappy...that life can throw a wrench into it all...but as of now....things are perfect...both in the family I created and the family I came from.....

My kids fight. They can make a tired mom angry. They name call, throw things...but they are learning. They don't have all the tools yet to know how to problem solve. And for every time their behavior is less than ideal, there are more times like this....when they work together to create an amazing city. Sidenote..about 3 minutes after this picture was taken an all out war erupted between the very two children pictured. Good thing I caught the happiness and teamwork before the sadness and frustration.

BEST. PURCHASE. EVER.

They say that the first two years of a baby's live...the baby thinks it is truly part of the mom. I feel this way about Alex. He is an extension of me. I love him with everything I am. Everything I have learned the past 5 years. Everything. He embodies happiness. My heart literally aches when I think of who he already is. I agonized for over a year about whether to have a third. I judged larger families. I will forever LOVE adam for the mere fact that he agreed against his best judgment to have a third. Alex has created so much JOY in all of our lives. He has given the gift of love to Kate and Charlie who excel in their roles as older siblings. He has touched mama, pa, nonnie, and papa deeply, stolen the heart of his daddy, and he is so intertwined with his me that it pains me to imagine him any older than he is today.