Aunt Kate

My heart aches for you. How long has it been since we talked......days, weeks....months, years.
I pulled up to moms and dads briefly the other day to pick up something and charlie said quietly, "I really wish Aunt Kate didn't go"
I hold on to the days passing but with each new day and night I feel a growing ache in my heart.
Where is my better half? Of sisterhood.
The one that listens, loves, helps, heals, provides, inspires, and creates
with me.
I cannot even recall how long it has been. I know for a while I felt ok. Only after I cried so hard the day she left. We all cried. I was walking around folding laundry when we heard Aunt Kate was coming to say goodbye. Charlie, with sad eyes, collapsed on the couch and pleaded for Aunt Kate to just go. For he knew saying goodbye would be too hard. Kate started to cry and I followed. I can't remember if alex cried or merely mimicked our cries (something he is skilled at doing).
90 days charlie said over and over. Why does she have to go 90 days?
The first while felt ok. I read emails and a letter and talked to her and knew she was living a pure happy life. A life free of chaos. A life based on what is real: treating your body respectfully, gardening, healthy foods, exercise, solitude. Charlie tells just about anyone who inquires that his aunt is writing a book. "a big book" "one with lots of chapters"
tick tock tick tock
The days pass and these past few days have been so trying. My litmus tests are passing with flying colors. My mom is doing as well as she could, and other members of my family are thriving. And yet work this past week has weakened my spirit, dampened my soul, created stress to the point where I feel over it.
And then I crave my sister. Her mannerisms, humor, long hair, crooked nose, creativity, undying need for the touch of my children.
come home Kate. How many times will that feeling burn deep in my soul before you just come home and stay home.
Probably never.
Which is a beautiful things.