You know you're pregnant when...

1. You get to bed fearing the next day and what it will bring. Then you lay there entertaining yourself by placing personal bets on how many times you will puke the next day.

2. Although you are a normally happy, well-adjusted, balanced, and positive person, you walk around tangled up in a web of unstable emotional, with tears permanently glued to your eyes

3. You aren't hungry, nothing sounds remotely good to eat, yet if you follow your instincts and choose not to eat, you will spend your day in the bathroom.

4. You haven't spent this amount of time hugging the porclein goddess since your first few years in college

5. Ideas that previously seemed like good ones (for example getting pregnant) now seem like the beginning of the end.

6. You cry a few times each day, whether it be due to a certain 4 year old's unruly behavior, a stupid tv show, or because the marble run you are trying to set up keeps falling over.

7. You feel hung over 24-7, yet didn't get to enjoy the pleasure of ever feeling drunk first.

8. Your normal routine full of exercise, great playdates (sometimes complete with champagne or chilled white wine), beautiful walks and bike rides on the coastal trail turn into lazy mornings where you keep the kids entertained with books until 9 in the morning, don't get dressed or shower until it is time to tutor, and the kids go crazy inside all. day. long.

Yes, I am a mess. I admit it. I don't like it, but I do know it too shall pass. And so I will wait patiently, and jump at any chance to pawn my chilluns off on any capable adult.

The things they say

A few mornings ago the kids were painting while I was cleaning up the kitchen. Charlie put some red paint on his hand:

Charlie: Oh no look at me Kate, I am bleeding on my hand.

Kate: (looking very sad and concerned) Why you got blood on your thenar eminence

Background: My mom has been teaching the kids medical terms for their body parts. So far they know what they gum is called, their elbow and their thumb muscle. Kate is learning spanish quickly and these medical terms. She is quite the little parrot. I mean what 2.5 year refers to your thumb as your thenar eminence.

A few mornings ago we took a long, wonderful bike ride into the deep, dark forest. The entire trip lasted 1.5 hours, with Kate on her balance bike and Charlie on his big bike, while I rode my cruiser. We got to the second forest where Charlie likes to ride down pretty big hills. A few months ago they went to the same spot with Adam and I guess Charlie pushed kate down one of the hills. In his defense he wasn't trying to hurt her, just curious what would happen I guess :)

So when we got to this hill, I said, wow charlie this is a big hill, is this what you pushed Kate down....he said,

"No, it wasn't this hill, but it was a big hill. (Then he looked at her with such proud eyes and said), she didn't get hurt. She's like....she's like...she's like......Ironman. (of course Kate looked up at her brother totally in love with him and with being likened to iron man)

For a long time when Adam wanted to get the kids out of the bath he would say, "Whoever gets out first gets to sleep with mommy!" Of course Charlie would race out first, since I always put him to sleep. " Then Adam would say, "Whoever gets out second gets to sleep with daddy." And of course Kate would jump right out since Adam put her to sleep.

Last night:

Charlie: "Whoever gets out first gets to sleep with.....NO ONE" "And whoever gets out second gets to sleep with NO ONE too!"

Both kids crack up. They are both very smart and funny, and I thought this joke was great.

This morning I was making my coffee and the kids were playing by the couch. I noticed they were interacting in song. In sweet, soft, beautiful song voices. I listened closer and heard Charlie say,

"There is a tiger down the street" in a song voice, so I chimed in, "There is a tiger down the street, what if it tries to eat me?" in my beautiful singing voice. Kate looks over with perfect little face, and sings in the softest, sweetest voice, "Mommy, I would save you. I would hold you in my arms." Of course my heart melted. Then I said, "And we can put the tiger back in the zoo." And Charlie sang, "Tigers don't belong in the zoo, they belong in the jungle." Which of course made me so proud that he gets this concept already.

Kids say the sweetest, funniest things.

300 POSTS!

Just wanted to say that this is post 300.
With crazy, active kids like these, I feel it is quite impressive I can reach 300 posts in around 2 years....

Kate's new bed

After much talk and discussion we moved Kate out of the dog bed and into her very own toddler bed. She loves it and surprisingly Charlie handled waking up to Kate's great new bed like a champ! She is really into polka dots, and all things purple, so she was thrilled. So far she has fallen asleep alone happily for bedtime, but still chooses her big brothers bed for naps. She has yet to spend an entire night in there, but secretly I wait for her to wake up so I can watch her sleepy, sweet body crawl into my nook.

One of the things I love about my town

is the library.

Not only is it a great place to tutor the students I work with, but my kids absolutely love going there. We have built it into our weekly rhythm, going there every Monday before swim class.

I admit I had a few hurtles along the way. At first my kids (mainly wild Kate) ran around like crazy up and down the aisles, but they outgrew that. Then they discovered the dvd section, and for a family with very limited media at home, it is like a child's heaven to see rows and rows of videos. But it has been months and months and they have not even glanced at that section. Our latest obstacle was when Charlie found the comic book section. Who in their right mind who put such violent comic books where a 4 year old can see and reach them. If there is one thing I have learned as a mother, it is to pick my battles and loosen up on my own personal ideas of what a kid should be into. So I embrace super heroes- I tell long, detailed stories every night about superboy, spiderboy, or ironboy helping some animals in the forest, helping gnomes find food, etc.....

And with each bump in our library road our experience has become that much more incredible.

Charlie immediately sits down and studies his comic books, Kate joins him at first and then comes and finds me. I return the books from the week before and begin my search for new animal books, fables, short chapter books, and good ole picture books. And after an hour or so I call on the kids, and together we use the computer to check them all out. The best part is we have a whole new crop of books to read during the week, and the kids get great practice at being quiet. Sure we had just taken a 1.5 hour long bike ride on the coastal trail, but look at how sweet, focused, and QUIET they are being:

Outside Air

About a week ago I had a long day. ok, so in the summer when I don't tutor and there is no preschool, every day is long. 12 hours straight. This one day we had already done a lot. And it was only 3. Kate took a short nap, during which I played nonstop with Charlie, and despite the fact that most of the day had gone smoothly, I felt ready for the kids to be in bed for the night. And yet I had hours until backup arrived...

I had to run errands. I had to go to New Leaf. And No Charlie today we are not getting a treat.

Ok, Kate you can walk along with us in the store, but no running away. I said no running away. And do really have to stick your grubby hands in the bulk candy section in front of a tutoring student's mother? Sweet. Not only did you run away Kate, you stole candy. Can you at least do it discreetly, so I don't get the "look" from others around me.

Once our quick shopping trip was completed I realized I also really needed to go to the post office. There was a very short wait, during which my kids raced around like crazy, and at one point Kate decided it would be fun to pull down her pants and underwear in front of everyone.

I didn't get mad or annoyed. My main thought was: Wow, the kids really need to be in a big open space.....good thing we live where we do....

I happened to have the balance bike and scooter in the back of the car, and knew just where to unleash the hounds...

My slightly crazy kids became good listeners eager to have a fun time...

In case you didn't know charlie is one seriously cool dude, he was charging down this hill....

After a while they made a deal to switch their modes of transportation, and would frequently stop to discuss this jump or that trail or that bird...it was quite cute.

In the past two months Kate has learned how to ride the scooter quite well, and her balance bike too.

We made it to the "deep dark forest" as the kids call it. We searched for gnomie homies, rode bikes off "crazy" jumps, and surprise surprise played "kitchen" Here Kate made me eggs and toast behind a log bar.

Charlie played in piles and piles of dusty dirt in his nice white shirt, and I really didn't care because the day was coming to a close and my nice full glass of hard earned wine was calling my name.

And like all good nature adventures I end up carrying every thing as we trudged back to the car...

So the message here is to get outside often and as charlie says, "Get some air on me!" we had a great time, and by the time we made our way home, Adam was back from work and ready for his kids..

My village

Somehow I have this enormous village around me. And throughout the year they choose to spend time with me and my kids. I can't even count the times Glenn and Megan have called me on their day off to see if we (the kids and me) wanted to go somewhere with them. What mother of two young kids (especially kids 1.5 years apart) would not want two adult chaperones to help ensure a good and safe time.

Last week Glenn and Megan encouraged me to go to the zoo. It was a cold Friday, school is back in session, and we literally felt like we had the place to ourselves. As much as many of the exhibits make me sad, with my heart of hearts feeling for that animal that will never live in the wild, it is a very fun day for the kids. Even if Kate was more excited pigeons and squirrels than the actual animals there. This trips we observed a baby gorilla twirling and climbing and playing. We saw baby flamingos all puffy and grey and cute. As I was commenting about how cute the babies were, Charlie says, "Mommy, I really want you to care about the pink mommy flamingos too." And it was fun having some adults to talk to and share this experience with.

Woah, mommy, I am big. Look at this, I can balance on a bronze baby elephant

Charlie is the most perfect kid to take pretty much anywhere. He was curious, focused- spending as much time as Kate would allow looking at one animal, he follows directions, takes "no" to toys and treats so well, and all around is a complete pleasure to be with. Kate...well she is cute, and sweet, and silly. But she is a bit of a pain, she is spacey, and easily distracted....and is constantly going in the wrong direction....

She would rather spend her day on fake animals, chasing peacocks, and laying in the middle of a path.

But I had Glenn and Megan to help, and they did a great job of moving her along...

and even though it was slow-going they helped her move in the right direction.

I have said it before and I will say it again. I love my village.

Uncles and Aunts

Uncles and aunts are important. Just as important as grandparents in my mind. They are fun-loving, caring, dedicated adults that love our kids unconditionally (and don't really have to lay down the law ever). They are role models, at times care-givers, and always down for some good old fun.

I have three uncles in my life. I always had a special connection with my Uncle Irv. I have many memories of my Uncle Irv, my dad's brother, that have stayed with me for years and will be with me for years. He was hard-working, a loving father, husband, and brother, and always open to real conversation. My Uncle Norm, my dad's other brother, would visit us and come with chocolate donuts and a huge smile. He was always fun, and despite living across the country managed to stay close to us. They are both no longer with us, but I think of them often, and hold memories of them close to my heart. My uncle Fred, my mother's brother, has always being smart, cheerful, and present. I am lucky to have had three loving uncles in my life.

But the focus of this post is about Uncle Josh. When he pulls up in front of the house, our kids explode with energy. They start running around like crazy shouting JOSH JOSH JOSH. In a matter of fact if they ever see a bronze car they being to go wild. From a mother's standpoint, especially the teacher in me, it has been fun to watch the evolution of his name. Ja.....then Jas, next YAS and now both kids are saying JOSH!

Last spring I was in a hard place. Both my parents were injured and therefore it was hard for them to watch the kids two afternoons alone while I taught. Josh came to the rescue and came over every Tuesday and Thursday just in time for snack time and outside play. Thank you Josh. I know I have thanked you over and over, but you not only helped the kids, you helped me and my students that were trying to survive end of the year tests and finals.

Our last day at Tahoe this year the kids woke up at 7 and immediately started running around happily playing in their new house. You should have seen their faces with Josh came down the stairs. He had arrived late the night before, hours after the kids had fallen asleep and therefore had no idea they had a special visitor.

This shows how amazingly dedicated Josh is to my kids, despite the fact that he didn't roll into our place until almost 3 in the morning, he woke up just before 8 and went right out onto the deck to "run a marathon" with the kids.

And Josh managed to keep up with our crazy pace all day. We hiked to Fallen Leaf Lake, went out to lunch, went to the park, pope beach, and finally out to dinner.

Frisbee, snacks, swimming, and lots of warm sun with Uncle Josh, it doesn't get much better than this

Thanks Josh for being such a cool, sweet, witty, smart, inclusive, thoughtful brother to me all growing up. Thank you for being so incredibly supportive as I claw my way through being a mother, and thank you from the bottom of my heart for loving my children the way you do. For making it a point to take time out of your life to build relationships with these two magnificent little beings.

You will never get them out of your bed!

If I had a dollar for each time someone made some ridiculous comment like this about how our kids fall asleep, stay asleep, or where they sleep, I would have a good amount of money.

Ok, so honestly our kids still don't spend the ENTIRE night alone in their OWN bed. But they are well on their way, and I am so proud and taken aback by the whole experience.

If there is one thing I have learned as an adult, mother, friend is that to each to his own. Every child is different, every family is different, and every mother is different. This is what worked for me. And I am sure that it has helped create well-adjusted, confident, happy kids who have the best attitude regarding naps and sleep possible.

We held our babies while they napped. We held them because we had the time and the ability. I stayed home, my mother was close by, and they wanted to be close to us.

Charlie slept on Adam's chest for the first few months of his life.

Kate has co-slept since the morning she was born.

We held them while they slept because we knew that sooner or later this day would come, the day where we realized our kids are 4 and 2.5 and don't need us and at times don't even want us to be there as they fell asleep and stay asleep.

We held them because they are only little and snuggly for so long...and because it was the only way they would sleep, which meant more sleep for us.

"At some point they will need to cry" some people told me.

"They need their own bed, their own space"

"They have to learn to self-soothe"

"A baby crying itself to sleep, even if it takes an hour, will not hurt them"

Maybe that is true. I will never know, because I am allergic to babies crying. It is like the animal in me starts to brainstorm...are they hungry, wet, dirty, gassy, needing some cuddles.

I second guessed myself plenty, at times felt jealous when I heard stories of other babies sleeping 12 hours straight and going to sleep in their crib without a bit of help.

But mostly I felt very secure in our way of doing it. I felt like I was in tune with our children and their nighttime needs.

Some of my most vivid memories of Charlie are rocking him back to sleep in a quiet and still house in the middle of the night.

And there are more nights of laughs, cuddles, and sweet drifting off to sleep than I can even begin to share.

BUT...I am proud to say that in the last month or two both kids have turned a corner and night after night both kids fall asleep on their own, very quickly, without any tears, and early..like 7.

Charlie started doing it first. And Kate soon followed. Adam used to have to come home at lunch to help put her down for her nap, because when I would try it would take over 45 minutes. Now I read two books, sing four songs and leave. She puts her stuffed animals to bed and closes her eyes and goes to sleep.

We ordered Kate her own toddler bed and once it comes I am sure that she will love it and want to sleep there.

Although Charlie has woken me up the past 2 nights at 12 to ask if I will sleep with him the rest of the night, I know he is close to sleeping all night long, as every few nights he does it.

I don't mind spending some hours snuggled up to his little body in the early morning as I know that soon he won't even want that.

And not once has either kid tried to leave the bed after goodnight kisses. I think they welcome sleep. They value sleep. They are tired after playing so hard all day, and have a very healthy relationship with sleep itself. And that is why I know that our method worked for us.

Sure it took four years of spending an extra 30 minutes in bed with charlie rubbing his back.

Sure I spend many afternoons nursing one or the other to bed for naps and night, and had countless frustrating experiences putting Kate down for a nap, but it was just a phase in their life. And I am confident that I did my best for them.

And I am smiling ear to ear as I think about how they take so much pride in doing it themselves now.

Kate passes any stranger at the store, along the coastal trail, or at the park and proudly states,

" I go to sleep all by myself." I am sure they think to themselves as they nodd, "it is about time."

Thank you Kate and Charlie for being such big kids.

And thank you Adam for listening to my views on sleep years ago, and standing by my choice to co-sleep, and help the kids fall asleep. The kids wouldn't be where they are without your support, time, love, and dedication.

Lake Tahoe

We are lucky enough to go to Lake Tahoe for a week every summer and every winter. It is such a wonderful place I can't even imagine going anywhere else for vacation (ok, maybe that isn't true, Adam and I have been tossing around the idea of taking the kids to Panama soon).

Charlie talks about Tahoe all year long. Each time we are getting ready to go he talks endlessly about which season it is, what happens to the snows, the animals, the trees. His bedtime story every night revolves around some nature adventure in Tahoe. He can't decide which season is his favorite. The winter is full of snowball fights, snowman building, sledding, and snow-hiking, while the summer is spent swimming, hiking, biking, playing soccer, and playing at the park.

Of course I don't care which time of year it is, I just love being outside all day with my family, and co-parenting 24-7.

This year every second of each day was perfect. The kids got along beautifully. The played for hours together on the beach, making up silly games, racing along the shore, crawling through the warm sand, all while laughing non-stop. Adam and I sat in our camping chairs eating great cheese and crackers and sipping on chilled beers, and admiring our cute, playful, and sweet children. We hiked three mornings to two different lakes, took a three hour bike ride stopping at two different beaches, played out back on the deck, spent most afternoons at a great park, and even took the kids out to a pizza dinner (we never go out to eat with our kids). Every night the kids passed out between 6:30 and 7 and Adam and I had competitive games of scramble, nice conversations and even watched a few movies.

We had such an amazing time that on the drive home we thought up a brilliant plan, rather than buy a house on the coast, we will think about/look into buying a small cabin (maybe north shore?). It would be safer, smarter, and more possible to buy a nice vacation home for 150,000, than waiting for years and years and then breaking the bank all to afford a 700,000 dollar house here in hmb. We will see if our latest plan pans out. I am guessing no, but it is fun to dream.

A lot of my friends vacation in Hawaii, different states, and even out of the country. It was the same way growing up. When I was young we camped throughout the summer and took one week long trip to South Lake Tahoe with family friends. It seems to be a pattern as that is exactly what we have been up to this summer, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

One day soon we hope to return to Al Natural, a eco-resort on an island off of panama, but until then we will consider ourselves lucky to have this little slice of heaven to enjoy as a small family together twice a year.

Five days of all daddy all the time makes for happy kids, and a happy mom.

These two were like peas in a pod, spending almost every moment as close to each other as possible....

And here and there I got some good one on one snuggles, talks, and laughs in

Taking advantage of the kids being a bit older, Charlie biked mile and mile on our huge bike trip, and Kate sat happily in her ibert seat eating snacks and singing.

A lot of sun, water, relaxation, fun, and time together made for peaceful, long, and wonderful days

I am sure the memories and great feelings provided by this one week in Tahoe will last me until February when we head back there...