Alex 4.5

Kate loves to read the two printed blog books we have. One is from 2008 and the other is from 2009-2010. Alex patiently sits as close as he can to her while she reads each post to him. They giggle together over stories, oohh and aww over cute pictures of a small Charlie and Kate. And every once in a while Alex looks at me with his beautiful face and says, when do my stories start. Tonight Kate read a bunch of posts about all the fun things we used to do and crafts we used to make together. It was a totally different time. I worked way less, didn't have school age children, and didn't homeschool or have sports. Our days were so simple. We baked, took walks, cooked, napped, played, crafted, and took day trips together. I felt sad for Alex tonight. He is resilient and didn't seem too down to realize that I was different back then, that things were different. He made the comment that he wished he was with us then and then he moved on as happy and light as ever.

I can't go back and make my life mirror what it was before. There is too much structure in our days, too many gymnastics practices, hours at the tennis courts, too many drop offs and pick ups, too many hours spent working or teaching. But I can make it my mission to record the stories, activities, and life we lead now. I may not felt or bake my own bread anymore, but every day is filled with fun moments. I'll do my best to post once a week now, so in 5 years Alex can have a better idea what he was like as a four year old. Anyone that knows him, adores him. He is verbose and sweet and incredibly smart. That is not to say it doesn't drive us mad when he chooses to relieve himself in his pants rather than use the potty, that we don't feel upset when he flips us off (we laughed the first 100 times, but now it is getting old!), that we don't despise how much he yells or roll our eyes when he shouts Oh shit! But there is so much more to this wonderful boy. He is artistic, musical, incredibly sweet and smart. He loves everyone so much and we adore him!

Always drawing family portraits and quite great at writing names!

Preschool Pic!

Always loves to be surrounded by his siblings

Always eager to homeschool with Charlie!

Sadie

Perhaps our biggest news of 2015 is the addition of our beloved Sadie. When Lily died Adam and I both agreed our days of being dog owners were over. We felt three kids was enough. We liked the freedom of leaving for the day or night without worrying. We liked the idea of not spending money on dog food and vet bills. But I think mostly we felt like we had owned the best lab, loved the best dog, and didn't feel the need to fill the void. Our kids felt different.

Charlie cried for weeks when Lily died. It was truly tragic for him and every few months we hear him crying again in his room over Lily. Watching Charlie and Lily's love for each other over the past years told me that Charlie really is a dog person. If there is anyone who could/would benefit from loving another dog, I knew it would be my son. He is so sensitive, intense, caring, and at times complicated. The simplicity of the love between a man and his dog was something surely Charlie should have. So a year after we lost Lily we began the search. When we found Sadie our hearts immediately swelled with more love than I have ever felt towards an animal. It makes me smile to think of the hilarious conversation with my best friend Amy the day I called her to tell her we bought a puppy:
Me: Amy, guess what? We bought a puppy! She comes home to us in three weeks!
Amy: Sarah, what?!? You hated having a dog.

I guess you have to know me to appreciate her honest reply. I didn't ever HATE having Lily. But I will admit that my patience and understanding of my four legged friend lessened with each child I brought into this world.

We have now had Sadie for 6 weeks and I can say without a doubt she has enriched our lives like I could have never expected. She is sweet,  loving, calm, silly, and at times spunky. The kids all help and the end of 2015 will forever go down as the best we have had!