Still here

A whole month has gone by and no posts. I am still here alive as ever. Between 3 kids, 2 jobs, a new job, and a life full of friends and family I honestly have not found the time to blog at all. So what has happened in the past month. We decided to pull Kate from our beloved nursery school for the final three months of this school year. I was working 2 and sometimes 3 afternoons a week, and all day on Saturday and with Kate going to school three mornings a week it was just too much time away from each other. We joke together that since she has two brothers I am her sister, but in my heart it is true. I love Kate as my side kick. She helped me through a very emotional and trying week when my mom was in the hospital. She helps me clean, cook, chats away the day with me and is really the most silly, smart, genuine, soulful, sweet girl I know. We felt like it was a win-win situation to have her home with me. Whenever hard situations arise I always ask myself: Is this something I will regret in a few years, few decades, in old age? I will never look back and say, I wish I had more time to cook, clean, exercise, and relax when Kate was 4.
Kate has been a wonderful 4 year old. Every once in a while she tries to mirror the 4 year old Charlie...she gets this ugly smug look on her face and says, "Ya want a piece of me?" It is quite hysterical most of the time. If she catches me in the wrong moment I might snap, but most of the time I can make the moment funny. She has amazing little friends, loves her brothers, does great when at school with Charlie, is excelling in art and swimming and if you keep her fed, rested, and loved with lots of snuggles and kisses she is just a complete pleasure to be with.

Alex turned 1 this month. I just can't believe it. Most of me feels like it is this huge milestone when your youngest turns 1. A small part of me feels sad that my baby is becoming a toddler. Just today he picked up 3 more signs: more, again, and food. Add those to his: ball, light, and airplane. I love that the signing is clicking, it is such a wonderful insight into his world. He takes steps only to kick a soccer ball, and has even caught a few bouncy balls in the air from big brother Charlie. There is no doubt in my mind that he too will be a natural athlete and I would be lying if I said that wasn't a great thing. It would be hard to be Charlie's brother if you didn't have some drive to play sports too. Alex is so loving and happy and fun to be with. He is constantly getting into things in the kitchen, holding small legos, pulling clothes out of drawers, and just being trouble. I love how much he loves me.
And Charlie. How I love my first born boy. He has truly become the most amazing boy. We have not always had an easy time with him. 3.5 to 4.5 was hard. A lot of fighting, crying, yelling...from all of us. But with the help, advice and support of my mom we were able to learn quickly that a boy like

Charlie doesn't "need" a firm hand, he needed love. He didn't need time outs, he needed time in. He didn't need to have anything but love modeled for him. We loved him out of it and now not a day goes by when I am not so incredibly proud that he is my son. I watch him in school...he shares, laughs, listens so attentively, he works hard. He respects the parents and his teacher. He has so many friends. I watch him at home love and help Alex play. I see him engage with Kate in games such as "babies" "spies" "hot lava" This past week I got really sick with mastitis and he was so loving, gentle, helpful and sweet. He will always struggle between the tough, strong, crazy athletic side and the sweet, smart, sensitive side...but I am confident that because of his village he will find the perfect balance and do great things with his life.

My mom has had an incredibly tough go as of recently. Sickness, hospitalization, meds, sickness again. I can't help but to feel like perhaps we are the ones responsible for getting her sick and that is a horrible feeling. But man that woman is strong. She fights for her life like no one I know. Which is a very great thing since she is the matriarch of our family and without her I am not sure what all of us would be. Her unconditional love is contagious. She shows us all how to love. She is a constant source of support, always has a great sense of humor, and loves us all. She has a way of making us all feel so incredibly special. The confidence she instills in all of her children and grandchildren allows us to do everything: take new jobs, start new schooling, continue relationships. And she does all this with medical situations that would leave most bitter, depressed, and empty. She is my hero. And her relationship with Charlie is the strongest, sweetest, most real relationship I have ever seen in my life. Thank you mom, you really are my everything.

Other than that I have accepted a new job, a career shift....something I am sooo excited and nervous about.....and a close friend is pregnant with a very wanted and loved baby, and my family members are happy, and  adam is happy between work, family, tennis, and surfing.

Ok blog there you go. That is me. Happy, full, loving my town, my village, my days minute to minute...the good minutes and the shitty ones. I love the cup of coffee in the morning while my kids draw, dance, fight, play, and I look forward to my cold beer after a long full day of mostly ups with a few downs.
I hope you are finding the simple pleasures in everyday life and that the bigger, important thing are moving in the right direction too...