charlie the entertainer

Every stage i love more than the last.

This one full of expressive language is super fun.

And the things that come out of our mouths are equally fun these days

Recent things we have said:

"charlie if you are going to sit on your sister's head, you need to wear a diaper" -sarah

"Charlie, are you trying to put  a screwdriver (toy one) up your sister's nose?" -adam

"Charlie this is the last bowl full of cereal you can throw for lily" -adam

"Ouch, that looked like it hurt. Ask you penis if it is ok" -sarah, (charlie bends over and says, OTAY PEE PEE? and then i realize what i asked my son to do

Recent things Charlie has said,

OH POO POO...runs full speed ahead to bathroom...POTTY....farts on the pot....ALL DONE...runs back into the living room and shouts...YEH BABY

Baby Tate little hair, Char Char big hair.

when he wants something and we remind him to ask nicely, he cocks his head to the side and says, "more pease" so sweet.

Char Char big leaf blower, lawn mower, hammer, drill, screw driver 

Everyday he has new words, and apparently everyday we say stranger and stranger phrases.

politics

Wont bore you. will make it short and sweet because for the most part I am preaching to the choir here (got the right saying this time, right?)

But honestly folks. You are smart, you have families. You want the same things as me right: healthcare, safe toys, safe food, clean air, a comfortable retirement 30 years from now, an affordable house, a decent job.....you want all americans to be lifted up..right? You want wars to end, peace to begin, to rid "terrorism" whatever form it takes....whether it is actual "terrorist" attacks or U.S. led air strikes that kill children in afghanistan... because lets be real here, terrorism is terrorism. creating terror. 

we want the same things. I try to be sensitive to everyone's beliefs....try to follow a each to his/her own philosophy. But being on the brink of something really big here it is getting harder and harder for me to understand how anyone can support the mccain/palin ticket. I am loving that women are coming into the political arena these days. but not this woman. she has no experience (an odd selection for an old man who has attacked obama for months now because he has NO experience), and in no way is an advocate for women's rights.

So here is my thinking. Watch Obama's speech with an open mind. I will watch Mccain's speech with an open mind as well. and then critically think. Think about what kind of world you want for your children. Do you want to enlist them in wars in Iraq, Iran, Afghanistan. Do you want them to be denied healthcare for pre-existing conditions (like me), do you want them to chew on unsafe toys, go to less than stellar schools? If so, vote mccain. You will create your own future.

But if what you want is a safe, harmonious, peaceful world. Vote your heart. Obama is a politician. Do I think he will do everything he says he will? NO. Do I think he is going to truly CHANGE all the things we need to change? NO. But I do believe in my heart of hearts that Obama and the administration he selects will have the working middle class in mind. Will not be as corrupt as the bush administration. will not lie, cheat, steal, and break laws left and right the way our government has the past 8 years. 

Adam has lost interest. He is fed up, and is pulling away from politics just a little. I am trying to fill him with hope, because if you don't have hope, what do you have. 

I see the energy that obama creates. I understand and agree with most of his thinking, and bet most would if they just shed off their judgements for a moment.

One thing that stuck with me during his speech was how the right takes big elections and makes them about small things.

Abortion and gay rights. I shake my head as i type that. I know those are HUGE issues for the religious right. Too bad they are such personal issues that truly don't affect our community or world. How silly!

I am deeply concerned about: global warming, war, health care, lack of water.....aren't you?

As one of my friends said, you dont have to be a democrat to vote obama, you just have to be smart.

MAMMMMEEEE

Amy comes back in a little over a week. Talk about sweet honeymoons. She got married in the beginning of June and left with her new hubby for Guatemala on June 22. That is a long-ass honeymoon if you ask me. I guess it is something you can do when you a footloose and fancy free, unlike me who is "up to my eyeballs in kids" as adam puts it when I begin talking about having a third child...

I can't wait for my sister Amy to come home. I miss our weekly talks about every little thing. I miss her visiting us. She is so wonderful with Charlie. Always trekking all the way from Davis to blow bubbles, read stories, and make my son laugh.

It has been hard to let go, and I feel like that is what I have done over the past five years. close doors and new ones open right? Or is it open new ones and old ones start to close.

I used to dream about living with amy forever...on a farm or phat piece of land. Things change, and I am happy about that. I look at adam (he's so cute, in case ya never seen him) and think about how lucky I am to have such a playful, fun, loving, and devoted dad/husband, and I look into charlie's eyes as he tries the new dance move his dad taught him, and I look even deeper into my daughter's eyes....and know I made the right choice. The choice to come home, live next to my family, and start my own.

So....even though this was all my doing, it is a continual process of letting go. Letting amy go and travel for 12 weeks in Guat. and then another 12 around the u.s. Letting my sister go as she travels to asia, up north to farm, and doing south to burning man (as a side note, when I explained to char that Aunt Na couldnt come to the zoo with us because she was headed to burning man, he spent the next two full days saying, Aunt Na wait, Char char burning man. 16 years buddy, 16 years you will have to wait.

Letting go of travel plans, hours alone, car trips, backpacking trips, old friends, living in a new and exciting town or country.

But oh I am off topic. The main thrust for this entry is to say that I am over the top excited that my mamy is coming to town next week. I cant wait for the big hug and all the words and fun that will follow.

Love my mamy!

you know you are a parent of a toddler when...part 2

....you put A& D on your toothbrush thinking it is toothpaste, and get within inches of your mouth before you notice

...you hear yourself say, honey dont vacuum your sister.

....you realize that a bunch of finger paint made it into your last batch of bran muffins and remember suddenly that you did ask your son to help you make them and that he was finger painting at the time...and you keep giving them to your son anyway but you dont want to waste them.

another funny moment

Tonight at dinner:

we are all sitting around eating a good dinner (well, ok i was standing because kate was asleep on my back in the ergo) and charlie was ending his three course dinner of fresh peas, roman beans and rice, and pasta. He started throwing his pasta left and right for lilly. (i swear they made a deal a few months back: lilly kindly shares her dog food with charlie as long as charlie shares his leftovers with lilly....i keep explaining to charlie that being a vegetarian means no animal products, including ground up horse meat in dog food.)

Adam didn't seem to notice charlie throwing his dinner clear across the room. At first I felt proud of my son's wicked arm as he cleared tables, chairs and walls. Then I said, Charlie no more throwing food for lilly.

That is when adam chimed in, "Charlie if you throw it for lilly one more time I will take it away" of course charlie being the spunky punkey that he is throws another piece for lilly. After adam takes the bowl away, charlie says "no daddy, char char happy". So adam of course gives in, gives the bowl back to charlie and says, "Charlie that is your food, only for you. no throwing." Charlie being 100% me, picks up a nice fat piece of pasta and chucks it right at his dad's face. I bust at laughing, adam half shocked, half laughing, and half annoyed...tells charlie a bit more firmer, don't throw the pasta.

Charlie looks so innocently at his father, does the 'little bit sign' and says, just a little bit, which sounds more like jusalilbi

Adam says no, charlie pinches a tiny piece of pasta off from the bigger piece and throws it for lilly.

i think...my kid rocks!

monday morning blues

they don't come often, these blues. I stand in shades of green, orange, and red usually. tired, but excited for the day and how it unfolds. booked to the tee with playdates, walks, funny moments at parks, workouts, cooking, tutoring and the like. I usually don't have time to feel unsure, uneasy, uncomfortable...all the un's
and yet today i do. maybe it is because i spent over 8 hours in the car yesterday listening to my sweet baby cry/scream off and on. we stopped, change diapers, nursed, gave cuddles and once we started driving again it was back to screaming. it destroyed me. and so maybe that is why i feel so off today. it was confirmed why i sleep with my babies, wear my babies, and am an attached mama, my children crying isn't an option (charlie crying during a meltdown is different- i can stomach that as long as i am near and he knows i love him)
maybe it is because i at times feel excluded and unliked by some people (how is that possible, i know)
maybe it is because i take my daughter in for her first vaccine today and i am still unsure of our decision.
maybe it is just the ebb and flow of motherhood...the ups and downs of life....the calm and storm of being a sensitive, emotional, honest woman.
i will be fine, i am wired that way. i will suddenly snap out of it, i always do. but until then my heart aches and i feel a little bit unsteady on my feet.
one of my mothering mottos will get me through:
fake it till you make it!

You know you are a parent of a toddler when...part 1

---you find a cheerio in your bra, and you eat it.

---you find mysterious brown areas on your carpet and realize your son pooped on your carpet and the dog ate it up.

--you are able to read an entire children's book with your eyes shut, including turning the pages at all the right times.

--you are worried when you hear hysterical laughter coming from another room (especially when there may be a pet in that room)

--your husband finds pee on his pillow in the corner of the room and you start laughing and your toddler runs into the room and yells, yeh baby yeh baby yeh baby yeh!

--you find food smeared across your babies head and she hasn't really started solid foods yet

--you wake up in the middle of the night because you can hear the pitter patter of feet racing towards you

--your computer screen has finger prints all over it.

--you go into your son's room to find him doing yoga and he instantly asks you to leave

--you hear banging all over the house and when you ask for it to stop you hear  "no char char working.

--there is a rush of silence over the house and you know that can't be good, and when you search for your son you find him playing in the toilet bowl. or eating dog food...or holding a knife.

--you almost break your neck tripping over a toy in the middle of the night on the way to the bathroom.

--YOUR bed is full of books, crumbs, stuffed animals, and on occasional dirty diapers.

--you find yourself swaying singing twinkle twinkle, while alone in line at the store.

--the highlight of your day is when your son pees in the potty

more coming soon

our trip to tahoe

just a few years a back adam and I would take the most amazing life changing adventures: backpacking all around california, traveling to belize, panama, costa rica, guatemala. With me being a teacher with summers off yet paychecks still coming in, and adam being the traveling matt that he is....we were like two peas in a pod....with a credit card. and when we were feeling alright....we would book our next flight to some beautiful latin country.That was before we embarked on the ultimate adventure, the craziest trip of all: parenting.About two months ago I almost had adam taking out the credit card once again....to book a flight to educador or was it costa rica.....but we came to our senses and realized:

1. we have two young kids and a big trip like that may be more exhausting than relaxing.

2. adam didn't really have the time off work

3. we didn't have the money.

so we settled for tahoe.

Great decision. Here's why:

We were able to continue practicing the spiral throws with Charlie at nearby parks

I caught pics like this...

and this....

We got to look at views like this of Emerald Bay

Dad got time to spend with just the baby (he is always on charlie patrol in the evenings)

Charlie got to test out his love of jumping in ice cold snow melt water. And of course his very playful and fun dad was there to catch him everytime.

We hiked a more challenging hike to the top of this ridge and saw lake tahoe, granite lake, and fallen leaf lake. It was breath-taking, as you can tell

Charlie got to paint his face with dirt and look tough. seriously he did this on his own while we were trying to figure out the camera.

Nap times were easy peasy, just put the kids in the packs and hike like there's no tomorrow:

Charlie got to put into practice his mad leaf-blowing skills! What a community helper, cleaning up the trails, the way he did!

With big Kate and Adam chasing Charlie around, I got to truly focus some attention on just little kate. 

I got to hike once again...with this kind of view in front of me. I can't think of a more beautiful scene to look at. Adam, Charlie and the lake all around.

Charlie enjoyed playing in pristine lakes while watching ducklings play. This is at eagle lake.

Charlie got to spend a lot of time naked, something he loves doing. He also got to spend a lot of time throwing rocks into the lake.

Aunt Na visited us for two days, we had so much fun. She got to spend one-on-one time with both Kate and Charlie, as well as spend hours chatting, laughing and hanging out with Adam and me. In case you didn't know Aunt Na dedicates so much of her life to these here two children. She makes them laugh, teaches Char things like yoga, dancing, and most recently how to ommmmmm (how do you spell that)

The two happy kates.....

Charlie  got to actually enjoy the beach. Even though we live right by beach and walk along the bluffs about twice a week, this the first time I think he realized he could walk on the sand right up to the water.

Our vacation lasted all of 5 days, and two of those days we spent traveling to and fro.

Each day was action-packed, sunny, beautiful, relaxing, and all around wonderful.

I couldn't have had a better vacation. Adam, what are you doing next week. Want to go again? Seriously.

It always happens that way.

When one kid falls asleep so easily and early, the other keeps you on your toes for hours. 

No matter how many deep talks I have with K and C, they still don't get it. Falling asleep around the same time at night makes mommy and daddy so happy. Is that asking for too much? I think we are fairly flexible parents. We lay down with our kids, read to them, get them sips of water, milk, snacks. Sing to them. We are patient, loving, and fun people (most of the time). So all we ask of you Char and Baby is to go to sleep around 8 give or take 30 minutes. Sure you are 2 and you littles are only 6 months, but this is all we ask.

Last night Charlie (after not napping all day) fell asleep with daddy at 7:40, about an hour earlier than usual. I thought: SWEET you rock Adam! Now I will get the monkey to sleep and we can cuddle up and watch heroes (yes, I admit we are watching a tv series about super-heroes, and for those of you who know me well you must be surprised since I have never seen star wars, star trek....ect.)

Monkey didn't nurse to sleep as planned. She has been sick as of late and it was like she came to. She started standing, shrieking, smiling, laughing. Why she decided to truly find her voice at 9 at night is beyond me. 

Around 10 she realized how tired she was and started to meltdown. It was a very hard few hours.

She wouldn't nurse (and actually I realized that she had only nursed once from 12:30-8:30), wouldn't be cuddled, wouldn't be held, rock, or bounced.....a first time experience for me and I hated it.

Her crying and uncomfortable ways brought me to tears and left me feeling helpless. Adam, being the cool, calm, collective and involved dad that he is, actually managed to get her to sleep....which lasted about 20 minutes.

So there you have it. For the next few hours she would wake screaming and I would bounce on my bouncy ball over and over and over, trying to console my so upset little. Praying that Charlie wouldn't wake up again, hoping that I wouldn't fall back asleep on the ball and somehow dropp my precious little onto the floor.

After she finally settled down, Charlie came into our room burning up. I just took  a deep breath, like I seem to be doing more and more these days and rolled with it.

This morning was like the calm after the storm. The baby napped on her own (crazy, i know) for 2 hours (i actually had to wake her up cuz it was time for pilates), and both the baby and c were feverless, and happy. Now they are both napping and I should be too.

So once again we will have our talk after the nap. We play hard all day. We laugh, jump, shoot hoops (by the way when I went to pick char up from my rad parents (who watched both kids two days in a row so I can work out) he was making basket after basket... he has mastered lay-ups and underhand free throws) and by 8 at night we are all tired. so we go to sleep. got it?

Never a dull day in the world of mothering.

two sheets to the wind

is that a real saying, or is it just my imagination.....and is that line from a song.

sorry. a little too much white wine after another long day and my mind 

begins to wander.

little kate is turning six months in just two days. hard to believe. i overheard adam saying to her after getting back from work today, "kate, you have been in our lives for half a year now...wow" 

In the grand scheme of things that doesn't seem like very long, but in our

 whirlwind dating/marriage/baby-a-thon, half a year is actually 1/10 of our new beginning, does that make sense? 

Adam and I went to school together, grew up together and have know each other for I am guessing.....15 years now. In high school he was a conservative jock (is that ok to say) and I was a liberal hippie.....I like to think he came over to my side. Actually I know he came over to my side.

We re-met after college when the american dream of graduating from college and getting some high paying job came crashing down and we somehow both ended up back at our parents house, both recently out of relationships that weren't working.

After a run-in at longs, a walk along the bluffs, and a few beers at san benito

.....we had two kids, and an asparagus patch...which to update those of you who have been with me from the beginning as far as blogging, we made a major mistake with our sentimental asparagus patch, we continued to pick all of our tasty spears throughout the past three months. Turns out we weren't supposed to pick them past a month...so I am pretty sure we have ruined our chance of further offspring from our plant and won't  be able to reap the benefit of our three year commitment/investment any longer. 

When I brought this to adam's attention, this was his response....hmmm...shit....well we can just plant more, what's three years...we aren't going anywhere.

At which I smiled and thought, I really picked a winner with this guy. And I mean that, adam.

ok back to kate. How I got so badly off topic, I have no idea...ok it was the wine

So our second little is almost 6 months. And for those of you who are wondering, no worries there is no soon to be announced pregnancy on the horizon. No SOR EEE...how do you spell that?

Two with 19 months is enough for us, probably for a lifetime.

                                                  Kate is a delight, as most of you know.

She coos and ahhs and laughs.

She snuggles like there is no tommorrow.

Her two favorite people hands-down are adam (her dad) and C (her brother). I would list me, but it has been confirmed that K and I are the same person. we eat together, sleep together....and even use the pot together...the toilet that is...I am not that careless of a mom.

She rolls over, tries to sit up (ends up eating her toes), and is enjoying some whole grain and rice cereal. 

She is a champion nurser as she has to be, since she has had to adapt and learn to nurse on the go since the day she was born.

She is a great sleeper and napper (minor disclaimer, she has to be slept with...but I am fine with that)

She is gorgeous. She is sweet, smiley, and happy to be here.

Weighing in at 16 pounds 11 ounces and 27 inches, she is no tiny heiny.

And although I had my doubts along the way as to whether or not Sarah B. could mother two under two, I am nothing but thrilled to get the opportunity to cherish, cuddle, nourish, tickle, sleep with, love, and watch this wonder of delight grow.

Happy half birthday little Kate!

What makes Sarah happy?

1. Going to bodypump for a full hour never once worrying about her children (well ok, I did worry but didn't let it affect my workout)

2. Walking to the farmer's market with just the baby (and lilly) in 70 degree weather and buying two big bags of local organic produce.

3. Both kids napping for two hours at the same time

4. Cleaning the house with Adam and no charlie.

5. nice burritos from tres for dinner

6. both kids falling peacefully asleep in just 20 minutes at night.

Saturdays make me happy, and yesterday was a good day.

Char Char's famous sentences

Charlie is talking more everyday, still using signs but adding new words and phrases daily.

Here are some examples of things we here daily:

1. Char Char pee pee potty, yeh baby!

2. Char Char help mommy

3. Char Char ride drar (car), daddy walk

4. Mama, Pa Char Char ride mo mo  (motorcycle) helmitch (helmit)

5. My baby

6. Our baby

7. I love you

9. Char Char eat yo yo (yogurt)

10. Daddy No

11. Char Char big, baby little, mommy huge (not sure how I feel about that one)

12. PA out. Pa up. Pa Yo Yo, Pa play (you can see who his favorite person is....Grandpa

13. YiYee no, back, now!

I am sure there are more. This little person keeps us entertained all day long!

Just a little bit, mommy?

I was sitting on my floor this morning, protecting my little chunky monkey from my very energetic toddler and this is what took place:

Charlie started off by doing his famous wide-legged walk over the length of the baby (no easy feat, have you seen how long baby Kate is?). Then he went on to jump over her. After pretending to kick her several times I decided to step in and pick her up. Baby Kate is laughing (of course) during all of her brother's stunts.

We are all playing together on the floor when Charlie decides it would be fun to smack Kate across the head a few times. I, being right there, was able to stop all of the attempts. Charlie had a big smile on his face. Kate was laughing, too. Keeping it all light I just said over and over....let's not hit the baby. hitting hurts.

Charlies then looks up at me and does his sign for "just a little bit" at which point I reply, no honey we can't hit the baby, not even just a little bit. Thanks for asking, though!

Terrific Twos

I always worried about the twos. Everyone told me they would be terrible.  Maybe my child is mellow (doubtful, though), or maybe it is our attitude...but we really don't feel like there is anything even close to terrible about charlie turning 2 or being 2. Mind you it has only been a month. But I love it so far. 

Does he cry when he doesn't get his way? Who doesn't. I feel like crying on a daily basis because of not getting my way. For example: having the worst president in history who has done things such as wage a costly, unjust, horrific war, continue to destroy the environment, deny children healthcare... 

Does he throw his body on the floor in frustration? Don't you. At the end of a long day where somethings don't go your way, some people don't understand what you say...don't you throw your tired body on the bed.

He is a little human being like the rest of us, and yes he screams, says no, and has the occasional meltdown, but the majority of his day is filled with moments like this:

1. when looking for a certain toy, he goes from room to room with his hands outward saying hmmmm, and then when the toy is not within view he puts his hands to his hips and lets out one last hmmm.

2. races around the house trying out new styles of running. Last night his run of choice was with one hand (the left one) way up high in the air, while his right hand cupped his elbow, as if to help that left hand get higher.

3. does crazy dances (a video soon to come) to make his sister laugh, us laugh, or just to make himself laugh.

4. Grabs his penis when he has to go pee, races to his potty, sits, pees, and then races to wherever we are and says in the funniest ways, "YEH BABY>>>PEE PEE in the the POTTY!"

5. When he does wear a diaper and needs to be changed he likes to walk all over the house finding the best spot to  get changed (I always think of a dog looking for a place to pee), and then when he finds the perfect place he says..."right that" and lies down.

6. The way he walks is great. His right arm swings side to side while his left arm is on his hip, we are starting to think the right arm gives him momentum, while the left gives him balance.

7. He spends a lot of the time leaf-blowing, which means he holds the vacuum attachment just like the guys to that blow leaves around our condo. He makes the exact sound and takes his job very seriously.

8. He is talking more and more everyday, saying things like....hike now....or mama pa char char ride mo mo (which translates into: lets got to grandma and grandpas to ride charlie motorcycle.

I am sure there is so much more I can't seem to pull up right now, but I guess the point is to share with you how much in love I am with my son. Of course I have moments and days where I think in my head: holy shit, this is hard, I am tired and about to loose my cool. But my favorite moto is fake it until you make it. So I continue to smile and act sweet and understanding while I pull myself together. There were two times while in Lake Tahoe where charlie was kinda freaking out. Both times he was exausted and rather than feeling frustrated myself I felt this overwhelming sense of compassion and empathy for my little guy who was too tired to function. It was a touching experience and I try to draw on those feelings everytime he has a meltdown.

Anyway sorry for the ramble. If you haven't hung out with this little work of art recently, drop by for a visit. His expressions, sound effects, words, thrist for life, dance moves and pure silliness will melt your heart.