The things they say...

Situation 1:

Adam was talking to Charlie about his upcoming trip to Nonnie's house. Adam said to Charlie that he might get to see Santa at Gilroy Gardens.

Charlie: "I like that Jolly Old Elf!"

Situation 2:

We have been taking night walks a few times a week. The kids and I get bundled up and walk into the cold, rainy night. We leave Adam at home cuddled up to his ipad. Every time we venture into the night I hear things like: "Mommy, we are so lucky...most people are sleeping, but here we are walking outside!" Of course it is 6:30 but I nod...yes honey you are so lucky because most people are already in bed. Two nights ago we were walking admiring all the xmas lights and we came across a strange large santa...very large. I said, "Hmmm Santa looks wierd."

Kate: "Don't worry mommy. He is just a big dude."

Next one:

A few weeks ago my dad injured his back attempting to break up a fight at the ranch (where he works). He was telling me the entire story and at the end Kate said, "Pa...did you get your gun and shoot them?" I guess you had to be there. My dad works at a rehabilitation facility for troubled men....but he does not carry a gun. We got a good laugh.

Next one:

Charlie; "Hey daddy...Fuck and Duck rhyme."

Adam: Taking a deep breath and trying hard not to break into a laugh "Yes, charlie they do rhyme, can you find another work that rhymes with duck..."

They say the most incredibly funny things daily, but my mind isn't as sharp as it usually is. I forget everything lately....which is a shame....

Random Ramblings

I think things are good now. For the most part. I knew I would get through the last few months, and that as my energy and health came back so would my patience and usually positive attitude.
I'm 16 weeks and love this new little baby floating around inside me...I still feel tired and sick to my stomach, but am getting so much better.
How I survived the past 10 weeks, kept my family fed, house clean (kind of) and kids happy and out of trouble, and managed to take on a new job...is beyond me. I really did wake up and dread each day. On top of it my mom got a brand new puppy. An adorable, well-behaved chocolate lab....but still a puppy with sharp teeth. So sending my kids downstairs in times of need became tricky. And playing in the backyard became almost impossible. This baby better be amazing in every way, because puking up to 8 times a day with two young kids sucked. The fridge became my worst enemy. I could be sitting on the couch and someone would open the fridge and the smell would send me racing to the toilet. On top of that all Charlie had a very very difficult month or so. Tantrums, incredibly sensitive, attitude, you name it...he had it. Now looking back I realize that he was probably picking up on being inside more, and seeing his normally happy mommy not looking so good.
I tried to tell myself it was all a stage, and deep inside I knew that everything I was feeling and going through was temporary, but in the day to day living...that advice doesn't help. I felt out of control. Emotional. Tired. Lost. And sad that my normally sweet son was slipping away.
The good news is that we are coming out on the other side. I have more and more energy. Haven't thrown up for 5 days, and Charlie is back to his charismatic, sweet, funny, lovable self.
I am really proud of him. Of the way he can make a mistake and apologize on his own, how he can think of solutions to make something better, how he can come up to me and give me a hug asking to "make up"
And I am proud of Adam and myself. We were at a total loss, and I started to find myself trying to put him in his room, threatening to take toys away, yelling, and crying. That is not me, and not the way I want to parent. I was able to step back after a week of trying these more conventional methods of discipline and realize that they didn't work with my son. I needed to have empathy, compassion, patience. I needed to overlook the little behaviors, but draw the line in the sand for the more offensive behaviors. Who knows why or how things went back to normal. All I know is that I am happy my connection to my son has returned. I adore him and all his incredibly cute and cool mannerisms.
And he has been sleeping all night alone in his bed. Just waking up once to pee and asking for a quick kiss and hug in the night.
It is good to be sleeping in my own bed all night.
And Kate. Wow, what a character.
Still sporting tights and boots with a great smile. She actually has added a new layer to her look, her swimsuit on top of her tights. sweet. Today before her nap she said over and over again: "You think I am going to nap?......."NO" with as much sauciness as anyone can ever have.
Her bangs are growing, and I just love watching her push her hair back. Still won't let us comb it or style it. but hey it is growing.
She loves Lily and Henry as much as a little girl can love anything. She cherishes her "special time" with me while Charlie is at nursery school, and truly there is no one I would rather sit down and play with than my sweet Kate.
She yells at the universe (or one of us) but quickly says, "I'm yorry" and moves right on. She says things like, "good night poppy head pa" And I love her for it. She insists on doing everything herself, even if it takes her 10 good minutes to get into her carseat and buckle herself in.
She can't wait to be a big sister but tells me everyday that she is still a baby. She has made her way back into our bed all night every night, and I love it. I snuggle up to her all night and don't mind because I know in just a few more months she won't be my baby anymore.
She reads for hours a day, either in some weird language, and a pretty accurate retelling of a book. And this little girl loves her dolls.
Every morning I lay in bed until 7 or 730 with these two incredible kids. We snuggle, giggle, talk about our dreams, the day ahead of us. We sing, play tickle fights, and just wake up together. This morning I looked at both of their beautiful faces and felt overwhelmed with love for them. I felt so excited for welcoming another baby Berkowitz into this family. What a lucky baby to be born and right away have two creative, sweet, fun siblings.
I hope to recharge my camera and capture some shots of my kids...afterall it has been over a month since I have snapped a non-phone pics.
Hope everyone is doing well!

Halloween carving

The kids really enjoyed carving a pumpkin this year. Like all their little jobs they do, they took it very seriously and watched Adam very carefully until it was their turn to participate.

First we went outside to pick out our perfect pumpkin. We played at 5 different pumpkin farms in the past month and therefore had quite a few pumpkins to choose from. Charlie grabbed the biggest one down by the strawberry bale and carried it up the stairs to the front door all by himself.

First the carving team talked about what kind of pumpkin they wanted to create. Of course Kate insisted on a "happy pumpkin" while Charlie really wanted a "scary one". Adam was the deciding vote.

I love how Charlie's arm is wrapped around Adam's, so sweet.

After the top was cut off both Kate and Char took turns taking out the guts. Charlie was successful on his first attempt....

Kate on the other hand had a bit of a harder time...

After failing at grabbing the guts, she looked at me for a little support.

Then decided to stand up and give it another try...

And came up with a tiny amount of pumpkin innards...from then on we gave Kate the job of separating pumpkin seeds, and Charlie the job of digging out the pumpkin.

The finished product:

I love this time of year....

As you know dress up is a huge pass time at our house. The kids dress up everyday, so actually choosing one thing to be for the Halloween parade at Los Ninos and the actual night of trick or treating was hard, and there was quite a lot of last minute sharing going on.

First up: Los Ninos Parade. The morning of Kate's nursery school day she was undecided on what to be. She put on her lion costume, no go. We tried her fairy princess super girl outfit, no such luck. It was no surprise to us since getting her dressed any ordinary day is difficult. Finally, Charlie suggested she borrow his batman costume, and her face lit up! She was the most adorable bat girl I have ever seen.

Kate's nursery school class is small and cute. There are 7 kids total and everyone is 3, except Kate. She has been dropping off and picking up Charlie for a full year, and so walks around like she owns the place. All of her teachers got a kick out of her costume....because the other girls were princesses, a cat, and a pumpkin. Kate was the only super hero in the bunch, obviously because she has an older brother.

The tradition at LN is to have a small party (snack time with costumes on) and then walk around the wonderful yard in the halloween parade.

Here are the cuties getting ready!

Batgirl's brother and dad getting ready to cheer her on. (love that adam works so close to our lives that he can steal away for a few minutes for these types of things)

Maybe the helicopter and dragon are intimidated by the strong batgirl in between them?

She took this parade thing very seriously, allowing stoping once to flex her muscles..

So slow that she is getting lapped, but hey when you are on the look out for crime you have to be thorough.

Friday afternoon it was Charlie's turn to have his Halloween parade. The class is 3 times bigger... can you find him?

Like Kate he took his job seriously. The other kids were being silly, falling over, running...Charlie just kept on marching with a straight face.

Charlie and his best buds Ian and Basel. Personally I like the shot of them all in snow white costumes better....

The kids had great fun cheering each other on, and I was so proud of Charlie for thinking to offer Kate his costume and for sharing it. These nursery school parades were part 1 of celebrations.

The things they say...

Ok, I know I am lagging on this blog. I am not sure if I have ever taken a three week break before. But growing a baby is freaking hard work, and what little energy I have left has to go to my two children, tutoring, and teaching, leaving no time for something as silly as a blog.

BUT....

with the kids doing so much, saying such great things, and me growing and changing as a mom everyday it is odd that I am not posting, because truly there is so much to say.

But for today I will stick to funny things:

Funny thing #1:

A few weeks ago at swim class a little boy just under 3 ran up to Kate while she was in the shower and he roughed her up a bit, then minutes later he ran back over and for no reason yelled, SHUT UP to her. I wasn't the least bit surprised because well, kids do random things. Well, Kate did what any normal little person would, she smacked him in the chest. Of course it wasn't my proudest moment, but if your kid yells at my daughter and gets in her face, chances are her, she will stick up for herself....by hitting.

So about an hour later right before nap I put her on the potty and said, "Kate, remember how G grabbed your tummy and yelled shut up at you? That made you mad. I understand why. But we really can't hit people, it hurts?"

With her adorable little body parked on the toilet she looked up at me with her big blue eyes and said, "How bout we don't talk about it right now?" I said, "fair enough" After all she was trying to poop.

Funny thing #2:

I took the kids to the park one afternoon after Charlie's nursery school. Charlie was playing with his new girl crush M, and I was meeting her father. A few minutes later my dad drove by and decided to stop by and come into the park to watch the kids play (as if seeing them and playing with them daily isn't enough for him...cute dad). Charlie looks at Pa, smiles, and then walks right past little M's dad and says so causally while pointing over his shoulder, "that guy lives with me"

Funny thing #3:

Yesterday I turned 11 weeks and had my first good day in 6 weeks. I woke up, shot off a million rocket balloons, made play-dough with the kids, then we made cookies, then we went bike riding, to the park, and out for Gelato. All by 12. Then we went back to the park, and after that Charlie played with all his friends at Nursery School. On the way to nursery school Charlie asked if it was getting to be night time. I explained that even though we had done so much, and had such a great time, we still had 6 hours of fun left in our day. He replied, "Ok, I think I am going to use up the rest of my energy at Los Ninos."

After dinner he was talking with Adam. Adam asked him how his day was, Charlie answered,

"It wasn't a magical day." to which Adam said "No?" Charlie replied, "No, it is not like I saw any rabbits coming out of any hats..."

So I guess that is what it will take for me to create a magical day for my boy

Funny thing #4

Charlie, Kate and I were picking out bedtime books. Kate looked at Charlie's hand and said, "Charlie got a pinter (splinter) on his thernar eminence. The last time I heard her say that many weeks ago when charlie painted pretend blood on his thumb. This little girl will accomplish anything she sets her mind to. She knows many medical names for body parts, and has been asking me to teach her spanish. The other night for her 10th song she asked me to sing twinkle twinkle in Spanish. I tried to fool her by singing the itsy bitsy spider in spanish because I don't know how to sing twinkle twinkle in spanish. I even tried to put it to the tune of twinkle twinkle...but I am not too musical. She loved the song, but when I was done she looked me dead in the eye and said, "That wasn't twinkle twinkle in panish."

Funny thing #5

When kate messes something up, spills, or has any kind of unfortunate accident she says, "OH SHIT" The first few times Adam cracked up and asked her over and over: what did you say. Can you say a little reinforcement ADAM! Charlie doesn't say it, and I try my hardest not to swear (out loud at least). After the initial cuteness wore off (ok, it never will with her high pitched squeaky voice), we tried to correct her saying, "Oh shoot" Most of the time now she says "oh shoot" but last night she spilled her water on Charlie's bed and said "Oh shit" I calmly said, "you mean oh shoot" She said, "No, I mean oh shit" I get it though. There is a time a place for a word like shit, like when you stub your little toe on the corner of a wall...or.....spill water on your big brother's bed...she is a fast learner.

Funny thing #6

Let's preface this by saying I am officially stumped by age 4. I have loved every stage up until now, and having days like yesterday and today I can honestly say that there are many many many wonderful things about a four year old boy. Like how curious he is, the questions he asks (mommy what is stronger metal or a house? What if the house was on top of a hill and then rolled all the way down), the way he can play for up to an hour with k so wonderfully, switching between playing babies and superheroes. But the attitude, sensitivity, meltdowns are like nothing I have ever experienced before. And the things I hear him saying (along with other 4 year old boys) "I don't want to play with you" "You are not my friend". After going to the park with Nonnie and Charlie telling some random boy that he wasn't his friend, my mom had a conversation with Charlie. Charlie told my mom plainly, "Mama, I can't be friends with everyone." I thought it was a great answer. He is quite popular at preschool, and really we can't be friends with everyone...

Funny thing #7

A few days ago K hit right below her eye really hard on the corner of a picnic table while on her balance bike. My mom asked her last night, "Kate how did you get your black eye?" Kate said so matter of factly: "No, look in my eye. (she opened her eyes super big and pointed to her pupil), it got a lot of blue in there." Guess she doesn't know what a black eye is.

These kids aren't obedient. Not the best listeners. Not great at owning up to their mistakes. But they adorable, funny, spunky, strong, sweet, and very real little people. And I am proud to be their mommy.

The things they say

I have not been getting up in the morning for obvious reasons, and let's just say Adam is no morning person, which leaves the kids running around wild for the first hour of the day. A few days ago I overheard this from the playroom:

Charlie: KATE!!!!!!! AW you just blessed you on me

Kate: I yorry

Last night I made my way into Charlie's bed at some point in the night and a few hours later he woke up crying, from a nightmare...

Charlie: NO, Kate is eating all the gorilla balls

Being the middle of the night it took me a minute to think about what he was talking about. The mental image in my head was not pretty. But then I quickly remembered he was talking about a cereal he likes to eat.

A few days ago Charlie was having a tough moment. He was upset about something and yelling at us. Adam asked him repeatedly in a nice voice to either calm down or leave the room. When Charlie wouldn't do either, Adam got up and walked towards him raising his own voice a bit.

Charlie: (face full of tears and red) Daddy, remember the golden rule!

We have been working with him on not loosing his cool and yelling so much when he is upset. My mom has been talking to him about the golden rule, treat others as you want to be treated. So when he felt like his dad was yelling at him, he wisely pointed out that Daddy should treat others as he wants to be treated.

About a month ago people, including myself, began asking the kids what they wanted to be for Halloween.

Kate's answer for a solid month: A BUTT, and then she breaks into a crazy belly roar. She thought of this idea all on her own. Thankfully about a week ago she changed her mind, after one day of proclaiming that she wants to be a butthead, she moved on to a fairy.

This past weekend Adam was a champ. It has been a real struggle for me to make it through the day, let alone work a few hours and parent my energetic kids. Saturday Adam gave me the entire day off and took the kids on a bike ride to Hatch school. Charlie is usually very good about stopping at stop signs and looking both ways. As they were approaching a street Adam reminded Charlie to stop and look both ways before crossing the street. Charlie did not look both ways, but instead rode out in the middle of the street.

Adam: Charlie, you didn't look both ways you could have been hit by a car.

Charlie: I don't know what to tell ya....

They say laughter is the best medicine....

Idigs

As I have mentioned before I am a part of an email group of inspiring women. Most days the women in this group send out a list of idigs, things little and big that they are grateful for. I haven't been replying because I feel like crap everyday lately.

I did do it today and here is my list:

1. Adam taking care of everything all weekend, taking the kids on bike rides, hikes, to the beach, doing the meals, dishes, and mornings so I can spend both days in bed sleeping, resting, and reading.

2. Tara for surprising me yesterday morning and bringing over homemade tomato sauce. My family has suffered from the fact that I A. Can't go to the grocery store B. Can't stand to open the fridge and smell food. C. Can't stand the smell of anything. Poor kids are eating canned soup, mac n cheese, quesadillas, and toast for every meal. Thank goodness we have healthier versions of these things at New Leaf. I think from now on instead making meals for moms with newborns, I will make meals for moms with morning sickness :)

3. My dad for making vegetarian chili.

4. Listening to Kate and Charlie actually play nicely together nicely this morning after two weeks of fighting nonstop

5. The way charlie rubs my belly, talks to the baby, and lights up when he talks about having a new sibling

6. The thought that someday soon I will wake up without vomiting, feeling down, sick, and tired and instead with be bursting with energy to do crafts with my kids, work, cook, and go outside with the kids

7. The new adorable chocolate lab puppy that is coming into our home next Saturday and the amount of joy new life brings into a family

You know you're pregnant when...

1. You get to bed fearing the next day and what it will bring. Then you lay there entertaining yourself by placing personal bets on how many times you will puke the next day.

2. Although you are a normally happy, well-adjusted, balanced, and positive person, you walk around tangled up in a web of unstable emotional, with tears permanently glued to your eyes

3. You aren't hungry, nothing sounds remotely good to eat, yet if you follow your instincts and choose not to eat, you will spend your day in the bathroom.

4. You haven't spent this amount of time hugging the porclein goddess since your first few years in college

5. Ideas that previously seemed like good ones (for example getting pregnant) now seem like the beginning of the end.

6. You cry a few times each day, whether it be due to a certain 4 year old's unruly behavior, a stupid tv show, or because the marble run you are trying to set up keeps falling over.

7. You feel hung over 24-7, yet didn't get to enjoy the pleasure of ever feeling drunk first.

8. Your normal routine full of exercise, great playdates (sometimes complete with champagne or chilled white wine), beautiful walks and bike rides on the coastal trail turn into lazy mornings where you keep the kids entertained with books until 9 in the morning, don't get dressed or shower until it is time to tutor, and the kids go crazy inside all. day. long.

Yes, I am a mess. I admit it. I don't like it, but I do know it too shall pass. And so I will wait patiently, and jump at any chance to pawn my chilluns off on any capable adult.

The things they say

A few mornings ago the kids were painting while I was cleaning up the kitchen. Charlie put some red paint on his hand:

Charlie: Oh no look at me Kate, I am bleeding on my hand.

Kate: (looking very sad and concerned) Why you got blood on your thenar eminence

Background: My mom has been teaching the kids medical terms for their body parts. So far they know what they gum is called, their elbow and their thumb muscle. Kate is learning spanish quickly and these medical terms. She is quite the little parrot. I mean what 2.5 year refers to your thumb as your thenar eminence.

A few mornings ago we took a long, wonderful bike ride into the deep, dark forest. The entire trip lasted 1.5 hours, with Kate on her balance bike and Charlie on his big bike, while I rode my cruiser. We got to the second forest where Charlie likes to ride down pretty big hills. A few months ago they went to the same spot with Adam and I guess Charlie pushed kate down one of the hills. In his defense he wasn't trying to hurt her, just curious what would happen I guess :)

So when we got to this hill, I said, wow charlie this is a big hill, is this what you pushed Kate down....he said,

"No, it wasn't this hill, but it was a big hill. (Then he looked at her with such proud eyes and said), she didn't get hurt. She's like....she's like...she's like......Ironman. (of course Kate looked up at her brother totally in love with him and with being likened to iron man)

For a long time when Adam wanted to get the kids out of the bath he would say, "Whoever gets out first gets to sleep with mommy!" Of course Charlie would race out first, since I always put him to sleep. " Then Adam would say, "Whoever gets out second gets to sleep with daddy." And of course Kate would jump right out since Adam put her to sleep.

Last night:

Charlie: "Whoever gets out first gets to sleep with.....NO ONE" "And whoever gets out second gets to sleep with NO ONE too!"

Both kids crack up. They are both very smart and funny, and I thought this joke was great.

This morning I was making my coffee and the kids were playing by the couch. I noticed they were interacting in song. In sweet, soft, beautiful song voices. I listened closer and heard Charlie say,

"There is a tiger down the street" in a song voice, so I chimed in, "There is a tiger down the street, what if it tries to eat me?" in my beautiful singing voice. Kate looks over with perfect little face, and sings in the softest, sweetest voice, "Mommy, I would save you. I would hold you in my arms." Of course my heart melted. Then I said, "And we can put the tiger back in the zoo." And Charlie sang, "Tigers don't belong in the zoo, they belong in the jungle." Which of course made me so proud that he gets this concept already.

Kids say the sweetest, funniest things.

300 POSTS!

Just wanted to say that this is post 300.
With crazy, active kids like these, I feel it is quite impressive I can reach 300 posts in around 2 years....

Kate's new bed

After much talk and discussion we moved Kate out of the dog bed and into her very own toddler bed. She loves it and surprisingly Charlie handled waking up to Kate's great new bed like a champ! She is really into polka dots, and all things purple, so she was thrilled. So far she has fallen asleep alone happily for bedtime, but still chooses her big brothers bed for naps. She has yet to spend an entire night in there, but secretly I wait for her to wake up so I can watch her sleepy, sweet body crawl into my nook.

One of the things I love about my town

is the library.

Not only is it a great place to tutor the students I work with, but my kids absolutely love going there. We have built it into our weekly rhythm, going there every Monday before swim class.

I admit I had a few hurtles along the way. At first my kids (mainly wild Kate) ran around like crazy up and down the aisles, but they outgrew that. Then they discovered the dvd section, and for a family with very limited media at home, it is like a child's heaven to see rows and rows of videos. But it has been months and months and they have not even glanced at that section. Our latest obstacle was when Charlie found the comic book section. Who in their right mind who put such violent comic books where a 4 year old can see and reach them. If there is one thing I have learned as a mother, it is to pick my battles and loosen up on my own personal ideas of what a kid should be into. So I embrace super heroes- I tell long, detailed stories every night about superboy, spiderboy, or ironboy helping some animals in the forest, helping gnomes find food, etc.....

And with each bump in our library road our experience has become that much more incredible.

Charlie immediately sits down and studies his comic books, Kate joins him at first and then comes and finds me. I return the books from the week before and begin my search for new animal books, fables, short chapter books, and good ole picture books. And after an hour or so I call on the kids, and together we use the computer to check them all out. The best part is we have a whole new crop of books to read during the week, and the kids get great practice at being quiet. Sure we had just taken a 1.5 hour long bike ride on the coastal trail, but look at how sweet, focused, and QUIET they are being:

Outside Air

About a week ago I had a long day. ok, so in the summer when I don't tutor and there is no preschool, every day is long. 12 hours straight. This one day we had already done a lot. And it was only 3. Kate took a short nap, during which I played nonstop with Charlie, and despite the fact that most of the day had gone smoothly, I felt ready for the kids to be in bed for the night. And yet I had hours until backup arrived...

I had to run errands. I had to go to New Leaf. And No Charlie today we are not getting a treat.

Ok, Kate you can walk along with us in the store, but no running away. I said no running away. And do really have to stick your grubby hands in the bulk candy section in front of a tutoring student's mother? Sweet. Not only did you run away Kate, you stole candy. Can you at least do it discreetly, so I don't get the "look" from others around me.

Once our quick shopping trip was completed I realized I also really needed to go to the post office. There was a very short wait, during which my kids raced around like crazy, and at one point Kate decided it would be fun to pull down her pants and underwear in front of everyone.

I didn't get mad or annoyed. My main thought was: Wow, the kids really need to be in a big open space.....good thing we live where we do....

I happened to have the balance bike and scooter in the back of the car, and knew just where to unleash the hounds...

My slightly crazy kids became good listeners eager to have a fun time...

In case you didn't know charlie is one seriously cool dude, he was charging down this hill....

After a while they made a deal to switch their modes of transportation, and would frequently stop to discuss this jump or that trail or that bird...it was quite cute.

In the past two months Kate has learned how to ride the scooter quite well, and her balance bike too.

We made it to the "deep dark forest" as the kids call it. We searched for gnomie homies, rode bikes off "crazy" jumps, and surprise surprise played "kitchen" Here Kate made me eggs and toast behind a log bar.

Charlie played in piles and piles of dusty dirt in his nice white shirt, and I really didn't care because the day was coming to a close and my nice full glass of hard earned wine was calling my name.

And like all good nature adventures I end up carrying every thing as we trudged back to the car...

So the message here is to get outside often and as charlie says, "Get some air on me!" we had a great time, and by the time we made our way home, Adam was back from work and ready for his kids..

My village

Somehow I have this enormous village around me. And throughout the year they choose to spend time with me and my kids. I can't even count the times Glenn and Megan have called me on their day off to see if we (the kids and me) wanted to go somewhere with them. What mother of two young kids (especially kids 1.5 years apart) would not want two adult chaperones to help ensure a good and safe time.

Last week Glenn and Megan encouraged me to go to the zoo. It was a cold Friday, school is back in session, and we literally felt like we had the place to ourselves. As much as many of the exhibits make me sad, with my heart of hearts feeling for that animal that will never live in the wild, it is a very fun day for the kids. Even if Kate was more excited pigeons and squirrels than the actual animals there. This trips we observed a baby gorilla twirling and climbing and playing. We saw baby flamingos all puffy and grey and cute. As I was commenting about how cute the babies were, Charlie says, "Mommy, I really want you to care about the pink mommy flamingos too." And it was fun having some adults to talk to and share this experience with.

Woah, mommy, I am big. Look at this, I can balance on a bronze baby elephant

Charlie is the most perfect kid to take pretty much anywhere. He was curious, focused- spending as much time as Kate would allow looking at one animal, he follows directions, takes "no" to toys and treats so well, and all around is a complete pleasure to be with. Kate...well she is cute, and sweet, and silly. But she is a bit of a pain, she is spacey, and easily distracted....and is constantly going in the wrong direction....

She would rather spend her day on fake animals, chasing peacocks, and laying in the middle of a path.

But I had Glenn and Megan to help, and they did a great job of moving her along...

and even though it was slow-going they helped her move in the right direction.

I have said it before and I will say it again. I love my village.

Uncles and Aunts

Uncles and aunts are important. Just as important as grandparents in my mind. They are fun-loving, caring, dedicated adults that love our kids unconditionally (and don't really have to lay down the law ever). They are role models, at times care-givers, and always down for some good old fun.

I have three uncles in my life. I always had a special connection with my Uncle Irv. I have many memories of my Uncle Irv, my dad's brother, that have stayed with me for years and will be with me for years. He was hard-working, a loving father, husband, and brother, and always open to real conversation. My Uncle Norm, my dad's other brother, would visit us and come with chocolate donuts and a huge smile. He was always fun, and despite living across the country managed to stay close to us. They are both no longer with us, but I think of them often, and hold memories of them close to my heart. My uncle Fred, my mother's brother, has always being smart, cheerful, and present. I am lucky to have had three loving uncles in my life.

But the focus of this post is about Uncle Josh. When he pulls up in front of the house, our kids explode with energy. They start running around like crazy shouting JOSH JOSH JOSH. In a matter of fact if they ever see a bronze car they being to go wild. From a mother's standpoint, especially the teacher in me, it has been fun to watch the evolution of his name. Ja.....then Jas, next YAS and now both kids are saying JOSH!

Last spring I was in a hard place. Both my parents were injured and therefore it was hard for them to watch the kids two afternoons alone while I taught. Josh came to the rescue and came over every Tuesday and Thursday just in time for snack time and outside play. Thank you Josh. I know I have thanked you over and over, but you not only helped the kids, you helped me and my students that were trying to survive end of the year tests and finals.

Our last day at Tahoe this year the kids woke up at 7 and immediately started running around happily playing in their new house. You should have seen their faces with Josh came down the stairs. He had arrived late the night before, hours after the kids had fallen asleep and therefore had no idea they had a special visitor.

This shows how amazingly dedicated Josh is to my kids, despite the fact that he didn't roll into our place until almost 3 in the morning, he woke up just before 8 and went right out onto the deck to "run a marathon" with the kids.

And Josh managed to keep up with our crazy pace all day. We hiked to Fallen Leaf Lake, went out to lunch, went to the park, pope beach, and finally out to dinner.

Frisbee, snacks, swimming, and lots of warm sun with Uncle Josh, it doesn't get much better than this

Thanks Josh for being such a cool, sweet, witty, smart, inclusive, thoughtful brother to me all growing up. Thank you for being so incredibly supportive as I claw my way through being a mother, and thank you from the bottom of my heart for loving my children the way you do. For making it a point to take time out of your life to build relationships with these two magnificent little beings.

You will never get them out of your bed!

If I had a dollar for each time someone made some ridiculous comment like this about how our kids fall asleep, stay asleep, or where they sleep, I would have a good amount of money.

Ok, so honestly our kids still don't spend the ENTIRE night alone in their OWN bed. But they are well on their way, and I am so proud and taken aback by the whole experience.

If there is one thing I have learned as an adult, mother, friend is that to each to his own. Every child is different, every family is different, and every mother is different. This is what worked for me. And I am sure that it has helped create well-adjusted, confident, happy kids who have the best attitude regarding naps and sleep possible.

We held our babies while they napped. We held them because we had the time and the ability. I stayed home, my mother was close by, and they wanted to be close to us.

Charlie slept on Adam's chest for the first few months of his life.

Kate has co-slept since the morning she was born.

We held them while they slept because we knew that sooner or later this day would come, the day where we realized our kids are 4 and 2.5 and don't need us and at times don't even want us to be there as they fell asleep and stay asleep.

We held them because they are only little and snuggly for so long...and because it was the only way they would sleep, which meant more sleep for us.

"At some point they will need to cry" some people told me.

"They need their own bed, their own space"

"They have to learn to self-soothe"

"A baby crying itself to sleep, even if it takes an hour, will not hurt them"

Maybe that is true. I will never know, because I am allergic to babies crying. It is like the animal in me starts to brainstorm...are they hungry, wet, dirty, gassy, needing some cuddles.

I second guessed myself plenty, at times felt jealous when I heard stories of other babies sleeping 12 hours straight and going to sleep in their crib without a bit of help.

But mostly I felt very secure in our way of doing it. I felt like I was in tune with our children and their nighttime needs.

Some of my most vivid memories of Charlie are rocking him back to sleep in a quiet and still house in the middle of the night.

And there are more nights of laughs, cuddles, and sweet drifting off to sleep than I can even begin to share.

BUT...I am proud to say that in the last month or two both kids have turned a corner and night after night both kids fall asleep on their own, very quickly, without any tears, and early..like 7.

Charlie started doing it first. And Kate soon followed. Adam used to have to come home at lunch to help put her down for her nap, because when I would try it would take over 45 minutes. Now I read two books, sing four songs and leave. She puts her stuffed animals to bed and closes her eyes and goes to sleep.

We ordered Kate her own toddler bed and once it comes I am sure that she will love it and want to sleep there.

Although Charlie has woken me up the past 2 nights at 12 to ask if I will sleep with him the rest of the night, I know he is close to sleeping all night long, as every few nights he does it.

I don't mind spending some hours snuggled up to his little body in the early morning as I know that soon he won't even want that.

And not once has either kid tried to leave the bed after goodnight kisses. I think they welcome sleep. They value sleep. They are tired after playing so hard all day, and have a very healthy relationship with sleep itself. And that is why I know that our method worked for us.

Sure it took four years of spending an extra 30 minutes in bed with charlie rubbing his back.

Sure I spend many afternoons nursing one or the other to bed for naps and night, and had countless frustrating experiences putting Kate down for a nap, but it was just a phase in their life. And I am confident that I did my best for them.

And I am smiling ear to ear as I think about how they take so much pride in doing it themselves now.

Kate passes any stranger at the store, along the coastal trail, or at the park and proudly states,

" I go to sleep all by myself." I am sure they think to themselves as they nodd, "it is about time."

Thank you Kate and Charlie for being such big kids.

And thank you Adam for listening to my views on sleep years ago, and standing by my choice to co-sleep, and help the kids fall asleep. The kids wouldn't be where they are without your support, time, love, and dedication.

Lake Tahoe

We are lucky enough to go to Lake Tahoe for a week every summer and every winter. It is such a wonderful place I can't even imagine going anywhere else for vacation (ok, maybe that isn't true, Adam and I have been tossing around the idea of taking the kids to Panama soon).

Charlie talks about Tahoe all year long. Each time we are getting ready to go he talks endlessly about which season it is, what happens to the snows, the animals, the trees. His bedtime story every night revolves around some nature adventure in Tahoe. He can't decide which season is his favorite. The winter is full of snowball fights, snowman building, sledding, and snow-hiking, while the summer is spent swimming, hiking, biking, playing soccer, and playing at the park.

Of course I don't care which time of year it is, I just love being outside all day with my family, and co-parenting 24-7.

This year every second of each day was perfect. The kids got along beautifully. The played for hours together on the beach, making up silly games, racing along the shore, crawling through the warm sand, all while laughing non-stop. Adam and I sat in our camping chairs eating great cheese and crackers and sipping on chilled beers, and admiring our cute, playful, and sweet children. We hiked three mornings to two different lakes, took a three hour bike ride stopping at two different beaches, played out back on the deck, spent most afternoons at a great park, and even took the kids out to a pizza dinner (we never go out to eat with our kids). Every night the kids passed out between 6:30 and 7 and Adam and I had competitive games of scramble, nice conversations and even watched a few movies.

We had such an amazing time that on the drive home we thought up a brilliant plan, rather than buy a house on the coast, we will think about/look into buying a small cabin (maybe north shore?). It would be safer, smarter, and more possible to buy a nice vacation home for 150,000, than waiting for years and years and then breaking the bank all to afford a 700,000 dollar house here in hmb. We will see if our latest plan pans out. I am guessing no, but it is fun to dream.

A lot of my friends vacation in Hawaii, different states, and even out of the country. It was the same way growing up. When I was young we camped throughout the summer and took one week long trip to South Lake Tahoe with family friends. It seems to be a pattern as that is exactly what we have been up to this summer, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

One day soon we hope to return to Al Natural, a eco-resort on an island off of panama, but until then we will consider ourselves lucky to have this little slice of heaven to enjoy as a small family together twice a year.

Five days of all daddy all the time makes for happy kids, and a happy mom.

These two were like peas in a pod, spending almost every moment as close to each other as possible....

And here and there I got some good one on one snuggles, talks, and laughs in

Taking advantage of the kids being a bit older, Charlie biked mile and mile on our huge bike trip, and Kate sat happily in her ibert seat eating snacks and singing.

A lot of sun, water, relaxation, fun, and time together made for peaceful, long, and wonderful days

I am sure the memories and great feelings provided by this one week in Tahoe will last me until February when we head back there...

From the mouths of my kids

Charlie yesterday while sipping water from a water fountain at the park:
"It is great to be me."

Kate while mad at me for some unknown reason: " I not going to play with you anymore!"

Kate randomly turned to my mom and said, "I not your best friend anymore."

Kate while shopping at New Leaf today:
"Mommy, look a real live cowboy...actually he a cow-man" the man heard and turned around smiling and said, I am a horseboy....

Kate, after 25 minutes of trying to get her to nap:
"Mommy I a big mean dinosaur with a gun. You a small dinosaur, no gun. I hit you. RRRRR"

Kate was having a hard time at the park a few days ago. She was thirsty and I forgot the water, and she was mad at me:
"Mommy, pull yourself together!"

Charlie was looking up into the sky squinting and said:
"I can't see outer space, I am really trying, but I just can't see it."

Charlie at 4:45 am called my name and I came into his room. "Mommy, do you remember my dream?"
Me: "Uh no Charlie, it was your dream."
Charlie: "But you were in it, Mommy, you should remember

While in the car last week Charlie said: "Mommy, where are those people going?" And I said, "Uh, how would I know? I don't know everything Charlie"
Charlie: "Well, I know EVERYTHING."
ME; Oh yeh, then why are you asking me.
Charlie: "well, I know almost everything"
Me: Hmmmm

Summer Time

We have been having so much fun this summer. The kids are at the best ages to get up and go, and I am making the most of this time before I start tutoring and Charlie starts back up at nursery school. Despite the normal sibling arguing that seems to come and go each day, these kids are truly best of friends. I never planned to have two kids 19 months apart but I can honestly say I love it. They are going through the same stages at the same time (more or less) and are starting to share the same friends. Just this afternoon before Kate's nap I watched Charlie and Kate play peacefully in the backyard without me for 30 minutes. I watched from the kitchen as I worked on dinner and saw them racing, laughing, pretending to fly and fight bad guys, and at one point I saw Charlie lift Kate high into the air to grab a leaf. Over the past 2.5 years I have had plenty of hard moments and long days, but with each day I am reminded how important they are to each other.
Not only are we located in such a beautiful place, but we have wonderful places all around us, fun water parks, sunny swimming pools, creative learning spaces, zoos, and redwood forests.

We spent yesterday at Rinconada pool in Palo Alto and had so much fun.

I was more nervous than he was, he made the jump right away

I snapped this picture to show you who Charlie was jumping with, all the other kids were 10-12 years old. They kept commenting how cute he was, asking me if he could swim....