if my kids get better i promise i will never...

complain about mothering two again. 

This must be kharma, because I have had a harder time being the fun-loving, patient, creative, active mother that I aim to be lately. I have been tired, distracted, and even thinking about part-time work, anywhere....anywhere but home. I found myself rolling my eyes, sighing constantly, making sure those around me that love me best know that this mothering shit is hard. and then the kids got sick. and then i got sick. and for almost two weeks now I have been in this fog. This oh dear if I only had my two healthy mostly happy and independent kids back I would be the happiest, most patient mother around.

Instead I have this:

A sick baby who will only sleep sitting up (ear infection?), who throws up most of the golden mothers milk she drinks down, whose eyes look so sad and droopy it hurts to look at her

A toddler who clingy, crying, and only wants mommy.

A messy house.

An empty fridge.

In a way this is a great way to end the year.  Being the rather positive person that I am I try to find that silver lining in everything and here is what I got this time around:

Stop complaining sarah. you have a wonderful husband who is an amazing father. your two year old is sweet, curious, independent, and fun to be around. your daughter is beautiful, happy, usually healthy, and is like your little soulmate. your house is great....except the toys, junk and clothes thrown about everywhere, and your kitchen-should you choose to re-enter it in the near future to make, bake, and cook food, is gorgeous. you live by the park and beach. your siblings are your best friends and play an active roll in your childrens' lives, and your parents...just downstairs help in every little way they can, everyday.

so.....as we recover from this two week fever/vomiting/cough and loads of snot.....I plan to really bite into each wonderful aspect of my life, to chew up the parts that are hard and to enjoy each moment i have with these wonderful children.

so...if my kids get better I promise I will never complain about mothering again..

at least for a few weeks!

What Charlie really wants for Christmas...

A new bike?.....

Some sweet wooden animal toys?

Some more plan vehicles?

Nahhh

How About:

...unlimited access to knifes and sharp objects..

...freedom to flush the toilet countless times a day, and perhaps stick his hands in there in the process

...a free pass to knocking over his sister during a game of football

...full access to mommy's lip to stroke, grab, poke, and hold all day for comfort

...to sleep directly on mommy's chest all night.

...for daddy to take him to play tennis all day long.

...rides on daddy's lap in the truck

....real hammers, tape measures, screw drivers, and electric drills

..all the neighbors real and toy lawn mowers

....a real skateboard, helmet, and ramp

....to be able to grab toys and objects directly out of books and play

...as much chocolate as he can fit in his mouth.

like father like son

Not so little Kate..

is ten months today and such a little person. She melts the hearts of all that see her. Her smile is contagious and her demeanor so sweet.

She is..

just under 20 pounds

pulling herself into standing left and right

getting into squatting positions and standing without holding on to anything

eating everything we do just in smaller sizes

babbling

signing milk and starting to sign more

cruising along furniture

sleeping like a true berkowitz, (which means not so well)

we love her deeply and can't believe she is almost a year already

A few things I am thankful for.....

Thanksgiving is always a hard holiday for me. As a Native American Studies major I learned a lot about indigenous history and culture and the myths that plague American history in regards to indigenous people. Years ago before kids I made the trip to Alcatraz Island to watch the Native ceremony that takes place there on Thanksgiving day. Watching the sunrise and all the people come together to acknowledge, remember, heal, and celebrate was amazing. The Thanksgiving story that must of us were taught in our classrooms is nothing more than a myth. The truth is much harder to stomach. All out genocide, forced relocation, boarding schools, missions, adapting, and survival is the real story.So...while I love to get together, play softball, eat my tofurkey, I also like to reflect on American history and the struggles the people before us have had.Of course I also like to focus on whatI am thankful for. This year I have a lot to be thankful for. Here is a short list, and a few pics:

1. My mom continues to fight through her health issues. I am thankful for the possibilty that this will be resolved and better days are ahead for her.

2. Josh has reconnected with an old friend...Here is a pic of them around the age they were friends...something like 25 years ago...

.

3. Kate has come home safely from her travels and is settling down (for now) in Santa Cruz.

4. We get to live in a beautiful, open, and inviting space for very little rent (thanks mom and dad)

5. I am thankful that my children get to enjoy the presence of mama and pa daily and that

 mama and pa equally enjoy this time spent with their grandchildren.

7. I am thankful for Charlie's free spirit and undying quest for

 adventure...

 

 and Kate's charming, silly, and always happy personality...

6. Lastly but not leastly I am incredibly thankful that I get to raise my two healthy, happy, and beautiful children with a devoted, funny, and compassionate husband in a gorgeous and peaceful community