THe final straw

If you thought the final straw was the stolen election in 2000 you were wrong.

If you thought the real final straw was the second stolen election in 2004 where an estimated2-4 million votes were stolen, you were wrong.

If you thought the horrible response on 9/11, the way bush didnt do anything about warnings in the weeks leading up to the attack, sat in a classroom for how many minutes before responding, ended up invading afghanistan, while letting the Saudi's fly back home, was the last straw, wrong again.

If you thought that lying FREAKING LYING to the public about WMD and then bombing the crap out of another country, killing hundreds of thousands of people while spending billions and billions of money was the last straw, sorry!

If you thought pushing through  Leave No Child Behind would do it, Nope!

If you thought illegally leaking Vallerie Plane's name...

If you thought illegal torturing.....

If you thought the ridiculous and deadly response to Hurrican Katrina...

The continue failed war in Iraq..

The ignored warning signs of global warning.....

If you thought almost daily for the past 8 years that all the huge mistakes the bush administration has been making, crimes they have been committing, and true issues ignoring, would be enough for EVERYONE to understand....the liberal way.....

providing health care that is affordable for people like me

protecting the polar bears, and environment

small class size with appropriate resources to teach

correct labeling on GMOs

trusting women to know what to do with their own bodies

ending prejudice and bad treatment of all of our lesbian and gay brothers and sisters

getting out of an unjust war

But no. I think we have the one last fuck up of the bush administration, and as scary as it is, as much as I worry for everyone who will be affected, I can't help but smile a little, I told you so smile.

Republicans are notorious for the free market, right? They are all about deregulation. Infact this is what the Mccain/Palin ticket wants to do, privatize our health care...social security. 

Hmm that isnt looking like such a great idea lately, is it?

So A (cant write full name) what do you think about this republican proposal, the nearly 1 trillion dollar bailout to the phat cats or the corporate world. Pretty socialist don't ya think. Not so much about scaling down the government is it now?

Maybe continued privatization of our prisons, schools, deregulation of our banking system,deregulation of our health care, and privatizing our social security isn't in the best interest of the average american. 

Maybe this is the last straw, the last big fuck up that will allow those with thick blinders on to see that the conservative republican agenda doesn't have your best interests in mind, unless you are filthy rich.

So yes these are my thoughts. So much to chew on and for me this election has become a major line in the sand for me personally. 

I just can't wrap my brain around the thought of voting for Mccain. ...and if you truly believe that Mccain is going take this country in the right direction after 8 years of war, a struggling economy....all the while Mccain voting right along side of Bush....then all I can do is shake my head and think, if we do elect mccain, then you and your family will get what you deserve. Unfortunately, the rest of us will suffer as well.

Check this out, like the old Metallica song : SAD BUT TRUE

www.imvotingrepublican.com

nearing 30

it is truly hard to believe, but adam turns 30 tomorrow, and it is my turn in under 2 months. I still forget i am 29. I feel stuck on 26, which in my mind sounds so damn young. I wonder why. Maybe because it was around that time that my life of partying, dancing at musical festivals, living with a bunch of cool girls, and riding around really came to an end, or at least a very long pause.

I had wanted to plan this great big trip for our little family to go on this weekend or sometime around it. a trip to celebrate leaving our 20s and entering our 30s, but like most things in my life the time came and went without ever getting around the actually planning anything spectacular. My ideas of big sur, yosemite, even as crazy as belize somehow morphed into this: adam doing some serious gardening, and me putting one last red coat on the kids' playroom wall. some sort of exciting don't you think?

so whoever is out there reading, raise your glass to adam tomorrow. he is one heck of  father, an incredibly funny companion, and a very dedicated husband. 

Happy bday, and know that soon I will be following you into the land of 3os, wherever that may take us, at least we will be headed there together.

Are you FREAKING KIDDING ME?

Sarah: Hi

Adam: (in a surprisingly calm voice.) I called about the group insurance. It would be 1000 bucks for you. for kaiser. per month.

Sarah: WTF, that is ridiculous, there goes saving money while living at my parents house. There goes EVER buying a flipping house.

Seriously folks. This sucks! I have to get group insurance because my freaking heart beats too fast and breast cancer runs in my family. PRE-EXISTING CONDITIONS. Nevermind that I have a vegetarian for 20 years, excercise regularly, and am very healthy.

So for all of you that plan on voting Mccain please think of me and my family. Where a family of four has the potential to pay 1600 a month in insurance. 1600 bucks. That is more than some mortgages across the country.

Am I pissed? Hell ya!

And so this mother of two young children has some options. Move back in with the rents so I can.....buy a iphone? NO buy a prius? NO save for a house? NO....so I can give all of our hard-earned money to kaiser. SWEET.

Or I can go back to work as a teacher. Put my lovely children in full-time daycare and at the end of the month I will have an extra 300-400 bucks and health insurance.

or choice C, my personal favorite. Try the world of the uninsured....

Glad we are bombing innocent kids in afghanistan, and continuing to fight those bad people in Iraq!

The emotional roller coaster of mothering

I never totally liked roller coasters as a kid. Waiting in line sucked. It would be hot, there would be people all around me and the line always appeared endless. Then when you finally get to the front and get on the nerves kick in. What if this is the one ride where we fall off the track, or I slip out of my seatbelt. Then there would be the uphill hall, the point of no return. Finally at the top a rush of excitement mixed with a good deal of fear sets in. Before you know it is is over and you can look back and say, that was pretty darn fun. Let's do it again. 

This is how mothering has been for me as of late. Each day brings a new feeling, a new attitude. Sometimes it is excitement but to be completely honest (and whats the point of a blog if one is not honest) the last week or so has been more about fear, guilt, lack of motivation, and general down-ness. These are emotions I am not used to. I usually wake up with a smile on my feet and a step to my walk (know I dont have the right saying here).

I stepped away from the week changed though. And with more clarity. Here is what I learned, gathered, realized....

1. Sleep is very important and sometimes hard to find. Everyone has periods in their lives where it is hard to sleep. My children need help falling back asleep throughout the night. I don't care if your child sleeps 12 hours straight alone in a crib (ok, i care a little), mine wake up. And it is my job to help them gently fall back asleep. That makes me get less sleep, and less sleep contribues greatly to my mood. So....when my children aren't sleeping that well I must take more naps, and I must be easier on myself if I don't have the energy to take two young children somewhere big and exciting. Perhaps I can even stay inside for most of a day instead of constantly being on the go, yet being exhausted, upset,  and then feeling guilty for not being the best mom ever. Disclaimer: Charlie had 15 great nights where he slept from 8-5 all alone in his own bed before the past week where he woke up several times and came into ours. The past two nights we have just let him come back in and we have all slept better.

2.This time in my life is very short, and the best thing I can be doing for my family is laying this strong foundation of love, support, exploration, and straight up time spent playing with my kids. I am a mother 24 hours of the day, literally. I am a housewife, too. And sometimes I struggle with that. I am fortunate enough to be able to stay home with my kids, and am grateful that adam works so hard that I can. But to be honest, I am tired of it too. I miss having a moment to myself, taking a class, teaching a class, thinking outside the box, usually my hands for things other than changing diapers, building big castles, or cooking oat bars. So, thats cool. It is said, and I know it, and in the next year or two I will work towards that goal. Until then I will enjoy moments like this where charlie is running around the house chases his ball, and the baby is playing on the floor, and I sneak a 10 minute computer time to myself.

3. My family is my everything. And with my dad unable to move for over a week (seriously folks this is very bad) and my mom not any better after 4.5 months of being sick and having difficulty breathing, I am hurting inside. I am trying to find the strength to keep on keeping on, but I am one sensitive gal. I am used to their help in regards to the children, and I am used to their upbeat attitudes.....I am hopeful that things will improve, and I know both of them are trying their hardest to get better, but it is scary none-the-less.

4. it is ok to have hard moments, days and weeks. thing always pick up 

As i discovered during one magical backpacking trip in the middle of nowhere with some great friends Attitude is Everything 

and for those days where my attitude is struggling I will use my other motto, and I will fake it until I make it.