Tuesday, April 28, 2009

on days like today

What do you do on days like today? When Charlie throws toys, kicks toys, and hits his sister a million times (even if each one is super light and doesn't hurt)
What do you do when you wake up tired, even though you have slept a sufficient amount of hours. You wake up and your get up and go got up and  went....far away. When your mood changes and you feel bummed that you spend 14 hours each day every day being a mom, and just a mom. What do you you feel burned out and it is only Tuesday? 
You cry. 
Fake it till you make it. Charlie seemed to notice, I could tell by his frequent, "You ok, mommy?" "You happy?" I tried to play trains, and silk scarves. I played soccer in the backyard, read books, made breakfast and lunch.....but I didn't have the normal gusto and zest for life that I usually have. 
See, in mothering, let alone stay home mothering, there are no breaks. I can't take 15 minutes to collect myself, I don't get a lunch break....I can't call in sick and spend all day reading in bed. And the worst part is that the kids pick up on it all, and C is so damn sensitive any change in my mood sets him off.
So here I am reflecting. 1 minute till adam comes home, thank god! and because he rocks I am going to take off for an hour, and do something. anything but be a mother (truthfully I will probably go buy wipes and groceries, but maybe not) Maybe I will have a drink alone at the bar and love that there is silence. Or maybe I will take a bike ride.
good riddens to this day....

5 comments:

adam said...

Or get a pedicure!

Which you did, because I rock!!!

sarah said...

ummmm i rock!

sarah said...

ummmm i rock!

Unknown said...

You both rock. Wish I lived close enough to baby-sit, Sarah. Hopefully someday soon.

Pam said...

And, this too, shall pass!! And, it will!!!