Me

The kids are both napping (and Adam-he is sick) and I have 15 minutes until I leave to tutor, but now is as good a time as ever to start a blog.

Have I mentioned how much I love tutoring. While helping a third grader pack up the other day, he looked up at me with a shy grin and said, "Thank you, for helping me do my homework" All I said was, "your welcome" But what I felt was this: Thank me? How about thank you. First of all your parents pay me....a nice amount....second of all I get to come into your classroom, and I love the feeling of being in a classroom. I get a break from my energetic kids, think about academics, make a difference, and develop a caring relationship with a child that is not my own. Thank you!

And lately days where I don't tutor are hard. C and K are wonderful, there is no doubt about it, but Charlie is going through an interesting stage...mostly wonderful and at times challenging. I find myself constantly saying, "If you do....., then we have to do this....." They are natural or logical consequences but I still feel like I'm threatening. I can see him lose himself and then I feel like I start to lose myself.

But really: When our kids are at our worst, is when we need to be at our best (thanks mom) and when C's world isn't making sense, when he is mad, tired, hungry, emotional is when I need to be the sun for him. the rock. The confident, calm, caring mother that I aspire to be. Because when I am at my best, when I am playful yet firm, flexible yet consistent, is when he can dig himself out of whatever it is he has trapped himself in.

And there are plenty of laughs, games played, dance moves learned, puzzles built, paper painted.

And while the kids seem more and more to annoy and tease and fight with one another, there are more times than I can count where k falls and C asks if she is ok, where C asks K to play with him and she obliges, where they giggle and chat away as if long lost friends.

And I am trying more and more to pocket those moments. To hold on to them tight. To dig down deep within my own being when one or both of my precious children make the wrong choice and create chaos. To pull up a sweet moment to focus on...because when our children are at their worst is when we as parents really need to be at our best.

first camping trip of the season: SUCCESS

Our first camping trip of the season could have not gone better. Seriously every second was wonderful. Both kids were in their element: the redwoods. The sun was shining, we had a huge camp area complete with stumps to climb on, flowers poking their heads up everywhere, a space for both our tent and Amy's. We had no neighbors, other than the occasional car speeding down highway 84, and some raccoons.

As always C was the best helper. He was very into his job of helping set up the new tent:

After running around setting up camp, we decided to take a hike. Of course Adam's first stop was to inform the children of some crazy bird....and of course the kids listened to every word their super cool dad said.

When you are married to a wonderful person, there are moments where you see or hear something and it just melts your heart. From a distance I heard Adam shout: I found a gnomie homie....the kids raced over and when I came around the corner I saw this:

A gnomie homie!

And if the gnomie homies weren't cool enough for you, look what else adam found... a tree house gnomie homie...in the largest tree at Memorial Park...over 1500 years old!

When we finally found the creek, Charlie received a private lesson from daddy about rock skipping. Adam is the best rock skipper I have ever met, and if you ask him he will give a mini lecture of every rule and type of rock skipping in the universe.

When we got back from our hike we had a fun time with our bubble bears....the only "toy" we brought with us....who needs toys when you can play hide in seek in the woods....or how many pretty white flowers can you pick?

True story. Every hour or so C would announce: I LOVE CAMPING! I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE! THESE TREES ARE SO BEAUTIFUL! After hours of running around he sat down in his very own camping chair and watched the fire come alive. He was the happiest camper I have ever seen.

Then came the roasting. Charlie had his first hot dog ever (veggie, of course) and went on to roast and eat three. Kate knew it was a choking hazard and that I would be nervous so she decided to run around being silly while eating her hotdog, all while coming within an inch of falling into the fire.

We also roasted marshmallows.....

I thought we were well prepared but we forgot warm clothes and flashlights, minor things...poor Kate had only this dress and jeans. After a few faces like this:

She borrowed one of C's jackets we found in the car. This is her cold sign that she continues to use despite her huge vocab.

All this great fun wore those kids out, and by 6:30 they were rubbing their eyes. We said goodnight to Amy, who giggled at the thought of going to sleep hours before it was dark, and packed into our family tent.

I emerged out of this tent at 7:30. Within that hour there was lots of reading, story-telling, laughing and finally sleep.

And early the next morning we roasted bagels. Adam has mastered the "I'll roast a bagel for my daughter while I sleep" skill.....

When the sun finally came up and the world started to wake up...we took another hike....

Charlie found a redwood slide....

And fun areas to explore....

There was more relaxing back at camp after hiking....

And snacks galore....

Amy came along for the fun, and I have to say it was nice having a step-in mom by my side....she really did do all the lifting....

And when it was time to leave Charlie once again lent a helping hand....

It is a good thing this trip was such a success, I have three more camping trips booked, and am ready to make even more.

Soccer Practice

It is hard to believe but Charlie is old enough to play organized sports...well...kind of.

He has been asking us for months now when he can play on a "real" team. Doesn't matter the sport. Soccer, tennis, basketball, baseball....as long as he can play on a real team, according to him.

So Adam being the wonderful and involved dad that he is...looked into HMB Parks and Rec and found a 6 week practice team.

If you know Charlie well, you know one thing: He thinks he is in charge...of the big things.

While riding with Adam to his very first practice Adam gave Charlie a little talk.

A: You know Charlie you have to listen to your coach. He is going to give you directions and drills to help you become a better soccer play and you have to listen to him.

C: I know daddy. I am not in charge, the coach is.

And every second of the 60 minute practice Charlie did just that. He listened to every word the coach said, and was often the only one listening and following directions.

We were all proud.

Yes, all of us. Me. Adam. Amy. Mama. Pa and Kate.

Good thing he is too young to be embarrassed.

You see my mom comes to everything she can, and I love it. She hardly ever misses a swim practice, which is great because the kids turn to her on the bench every time they go under water or swim to the wall. In fact this past Monday little Kate noticed that Mama and Pa were spending most of the class watching Charlie (how could you not, he is so fast and fierce in the water) and she turned to me as said "Mama not watching me!"

So here are some pictures from the sunny Saturday spent at Smith, just like 20 years ago.

All good practices start with a stretch. Charlie ate it right up, trying to master all the stretches.

After stretches and 2o minutes of drills Coach called for a break. Charlie came running up to us, asked for a sip of water and then sprinted right back to the coach. Every other kid had a snack and hung out with their families. It was apparent to us all that Charlie meant business, and the coach picked up on that too. The coach learned C's name before any other kid, and worked privately with him during the break, and then continued to smile at him throughout the rest of the practice.

proud father? I think so. Adam giggled throughout this practice.

And my parents got a kick of of things to. How could you not. Towards the end of the practice the coach divided the teams in two and attempted a toss up of the soccer ball, unfortunately it landed right on one of the little boy's head. Then while practicing dribbling and shooting, each kid (including my own) would kick and instead of going to the end of line would cut somewhere in the front-middle of the line. I am still unclear of everyone got a chance due to all the cutting. It was very entertaining.

And then there is little Kate. She always gets the short end of the stick. She wants to go to nursery school just like her bro, so we told her: Once you become potty trained you can start. We had no idea that would happen before she was 2. All morning getting ready for C's first soccer practice she never stopped talking...I play yoccer too. I kick. I run. I kick. Honestly, she can dribble the ball just as good as these 3,4, and 5 year olds. Here she is. The coach was playing red light, green light and was showing the kids how to stop the ball with their foot. Kate picked it up before most of the class. seriously.

All in all it was fun, and a good sneak peek at what's to come in the next few years. I grew up playing sports and LOVE watching my kids enjoy them too.

Thank you Amy...

for loving my children.

for visiting us every month or so.

for hearing that I hurt my back, calling to say that you will definitely take a three hour bart/train ride to HMB, come camp with us and do all the "heavy lifting", all thirty pounds of lovableness

for calling tonight at dinner time after a frustrating conversation with PGE and asking for one cute short kid story from the day to cheer you up.

for carrying Kate when she got tired hiking.

for finding gnomie homies, roasting marshmellows, tolerating our early morning giggles

for listening to my stories, feelings, for taking interest in my life.

You are truly my bestest friend, and I love you like a sister

Gratitude

This week I am grateful for....

1. Having a place like FIT in our town.

2. A strong body and good heatlh (I realize this even more when injured)

3. Happy children

4. Tutoring students that I adore

5. Wonderful friends that love me and my children

Then...and......now

I used to backpack every spring through fall. I loved packing everything you need into a backpacking backpack, hiking in carrying 40 pounds of goods, the silence, solitude, scenery. I loved all the conversation and comfortable silences that comes from spending anywhere from 2-6 days without another being and no distractions. I loved pumping water out of a stream, finding the perfect tree to hang your food, cooking on a tiny stove, sleeping under the stars, the noises of nature.

I took all the chances I got to be "living" in nature for a few days. I went with my sister....

Took amazing trips with my best friend Amy including one 5 night 6 day trip in the Trinity National Forest.

And for my bachelorette weekend I went backpacking with some friends, I believe it was a first for a few of these great gals. I also have backpacked all over with Adam, but can't seem to find a single picture.

And after years and years of amazing trips, I thought it would be the same once I had kids. I attempted a backpacking trip with Charlie when he was 1 year old...and I was pregnant. I should have realized that none of the things I loved about backpacking were remotely possible with a baby on your back, and another in your belly. Nothing is worse than carry a 20 pounder on your back, with the belt around your belly, while throwing up, especially when you have a heart condition and your husband picks a very challenging 1.75 mile hike....but nonetheless we smiled, laughed, and made memories.

A few months before that backpacking trip we went on our first camping trip. It was hard and different as well. There as no sleeping in, midday naps, books read...(except children books). The two trips in three months scared us away from camping/backpacking with kids.....

But with spring here, and the sun shining (sometimes), the mountains and trees are calling our names. So.....we have made reservations for a few different camping trips this summer, and I am super excited. There is no place I would rather be than in the woods with Adam and my wonderful kids. Last Sunday we did something Adam and I haven't done in many many years, we ventured "over the hill" together with the kids to buy charlie some yoccer keats, and then REI to buy: drum roll please.....a 6 person tent. Charlie happily shopped with me while Adam sat with a napping Kate in the car. He raced over to this chair and said, "This camping chair is great for me."

Thanks to a REI dividend, a great sale, and some saved up tutoring money, we purchased a nice tent, and four camping chairs. We are all ready to go. Wish us luck. If this trip is anything like the last two trips we took two years ago, it may be another two years before Adam agrees to camp again.

Happy Camping!

Well-loved kids

make happy parents. And happy parents make happy kids. Love makes the world go round, right dad?

I'll be loving you my whole life

Academy of sciences

Berkowitzes are big into the buddy system: And when you explore huge areas like academy of sciences with one adult (me) and two fast and independent kids (them), the buddy system is a matter of survival. so sweet.

For those of you who miss my littles (thinking of you Amy, and Alex in particular)

We had a full and fun week. After meeting friends at the park in La Honda Friday morning, C and K asked me if we could go hiking. It was lunchtime, naptime, and I had just a few nuts with me, but it was a beautiful and warm day and so I obliged. This picture says it all. Kate tripped on some roots, and Charlie comes to life in a deep dark forrest. He kept looking up and around and saying, These trees are so beautiful, I could never leave these trees. It made me so proud.

When I agreed to go hiking and to the creek Charlie gasped and said, "Without Daddy?" And then spent a lot of the hour we were there strutting around saying, "We can find mushrooms even without daddy" But we didn't.

However, we did find lots of banana slugs.....

Life is so simple when you are a kid. Just splash, throw rocks, eat and sleep....wish it was simple for us adults.

Charlie spent his week two ways: Sweet as ever like in this picture, or hard as hell driving me to drink and hit my parenting books up again. Thankfully, the past few days he is back to his normal sweet, helpful, and thoughtful self.

Kate spends her time making me laugh. I walked over to her at the park the other day and said, "Kate, what are you doing?" "I pushing my breakfast burrito on the swing. weee" She is often found giggling, singing, dancing, or trying to snuggle in as close as possible. She is precious and if I could keep her this age forever, I would.

Wednesday we had an amazing time at Discovery Museum. We ran around and played for hours......

And with the weather so gorgeous and it staying light later, we have been playing at Hatch school after 5. Charlie learned to ride his 2-wheeler this past week. He can start, stop, go fast, slow, turn, and go over bumps. It was so fun to ride around with him.....

And of course there are evenings where we play tennis too. Even Kate is getting the hanging of it....well kinda. she can hold the racket....

Meanwhile if you haven't seen Charlie play tennis, you are truly missing out. Forehands, backhands, running around, smashing top spin balls over the net. It is pure joy to watch him....but you have to pay close attention, he looses interest in 8 minutes or so.

As you can see we spend most of our day outside. The kids love to take nature walks with lily, play in the backyard, go to the park....but I am trying to encourage some inside activities too, to help with our breathe in breathe out rhythm to our days. This art project was great, both kids enjoyed it.

This is Kate playing hide and go seek, another thing we do daily.....she thought she was well-hidden.

So while this week was full of fun, friends, and sun...by Friday evening I was exhausted and in desperate need of a break. Too bad Adam had an all day class in SJ Saturday, but we powered through, and Sunday was a fun family day. Staying home with the kids is amazing and I would never trade it for anything...but once in a while......I would like some solitude, silence, and space......