Dear Mom,

I think about where you were a little over two years ago with a heavy heart. The week I spent in bed crying, unable to parent, eat, sleep. Spending every moment fearing the worst. I remember trying to come to terms with two young children spaced so closely together all while you were in and out of the hospital, hooked up to oxygen, and fighting to stay alive. I remember you trying to stay positive and brave. I remember pulling away from you because the sight of you broke me down. And once I started to cry, you did too. That week was the worst week of my life. The first year of Kate's life was perhaps the most challenging. And then I think about where we are today, how far we have all come. You pulled through mom, as you always do. You fought against all odds, slowly but surely gained your strength back, and I will be forever grateful for that.

I have said this to you before, wrote you a letter on your 60th birthday, and have blogged about you many times. But today on Mother's Day I want to make sure you understand what you mean to not only me, my siblings, and dad, but to my children. When I think about where I am as a mother, I think about you, and I think about Nana. A long chain of devoted, wonderful, loving, accepting, and powerful women. Because I know that you are the mother you are because of your mom, and I am the kind of mother I am because of you.

Not a day goes by where I don't think of Nana. I think of the letters she sent to me throughout my life. Our fun vacations during the summer. The way she called me her peach, had a wicked sense of humor, was as witty as ever, and loved us all so very much. I see her face in both of my children, and draw strength from her unconditional love she showed everyone all around her.

That week where your future was uncertain was incredibly difficult for me. It was as if I didn't believe in myself as a mother if my own mother was no longer close to me. For you are my rock, mom. Everything I think, feel, do, question, love, and reflect upon is because of the strong foundation of love you built me on. Everyday I try to grow stronger in my own beliefs so that one day when you do move on (in 45 years, right?), I will be ok.

Thank you for cherishing every moment with my children. For constantly having Charlie's back, encouraging me to be my best, and reminding me that everything is merely a stage. Thank you for listening to me talk about the same people over and over again. For taking the time to ask questions that provoke deeper thoughts. For telling me in my worst moments what a good mother I am. For loving Adam as if he is your own son. In the past months I have had a few harder moments with Charlie. When we are battling it out upstairs and Charlie can't handle his world anymore he runs to the stairs and calls down to you. "I need to read a book in Mama's lap." Thank you for always putting away what you are working on and welcoming him on to your lap with kind and calm words of love.

You have endured more pain, setbacks, and obstacles than anyone I know. And yet you soar through life with a sense of excitement that ignites a passion in everyone that is lucky enough to be around you. Your compassion, humor, understanding, and generosity remind me of Nana, and I hope that through my life I will grow in those very same areas.

Thank you for coming to all of Charlie's soccer practices and swim classes despite a new injury. Time and time again you show us all how much you love us.

As I have always said, if I can be half the mom you are...I will be doing just fine.

Love you.

Happy Mother's Day